10:33.
The process of rebuilding is ongoing.
All, or definitely most or what feels like a lot of that can be destroyed, have been destroyed. And sitting in the middle of the ash and debris, I close my eyes and imagine what it's like to sit at Your right hand and look at all of these, all of our worlds, all of this earth.
And I try, weak but strong, broken but whole, bowed down but standing proud to muster the will and faith that turns this broken reed to the reality of a princess warrior secure in identity and destiny.
And as You helped me realise the names of those bricks and stones that now lay fallen, I ask You for grace to confront similar situations differently - the way I did before the wall went up or the foxes came in... only now, with additional wisdom. I pray, hope and believe. Not in my ability but in Yours.
I'm loved.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
14:37.
If Jesus could sit and weep with Mary & Martha for Lazarus when He was going to raise him up any way, why don't we do the same for those who need someone to weep with? Not preach at them, not even start thinking for solutions for them but just to sit. And weep and share the heart of God through that.
If Jesus could sit and weep with Mary & Martha for Lazarus when He was going to raise him up any way, why don't we do the same for those who need someone to weep with? Not preach at them, not even start thinking for solutions for them but just to sit. And weep and share the heart of God through that.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
11:43.
It's Aug in the year 2010, 29 years since God placed me here on earth and I'll be hard pressed to remember the last time the furnace felt this hot.
Oh, I can remember occasions - year of '99, 1st year in poly, still in honeymoon with my Lord and all excited about the Spirit's gifts and the arguments and doubts my coursemates have about all of that. Was in a desert for a while then, when all the voices and my foolish heart got in the way of Us.
Funny how school was the trigger point - there was that period in '04 when I was taking philosophy with an anti-Jesus lecturer who was intellectually too strong for me to debate, all those circular arguments about free will and yet through that, You taught me faith.
Some part of me can't believe this furnace/ desert is happening now.
Now in 2010, me in a full time position working for the church I love. Oh Lord, I've not felt the heat this strong for as far as I remember but I'll hold on to your Truth that I'll never be tempted beyond what I can bear.
I've not felt as stripped bare as now, almost helpless, this numbness, but I'll come, over and over again, just as I am dependent on Your Grace, desperate for Your touch, convicted of Your Goodness.
You are my Author. And You know my story and it will not just have a good ending, it will be great chapters all the way through.
I cling to You.
Cling, when I have no more strength in the natural. Cling, when the questions overwhelm. Cling, when my heart swells to the point of bursting. I cling to You.
Pull away the lies, my Lord. Pull away the enemy's devious whispers and hidden cloaks. Pull them away from my mind, my heart, my soul and spirit.
I just want to sit with You and let the world go still.
Help, my Lord, You who are my rewarder and my protector.
Lift up my head, strengthen this reed, stop me from running into what my eyes can't see.
Still my anxious thoughts, Dad. Wrap me up, won't you please, with all of You.
I just want You.
It's Aug in the year 2010, 29 years since God placed me here on earth and I'll be hard pressed to remember the last time the furnace felt this hot.
Oh, I can remember occasions - year of '99, 1st year in poly, still in honeymoon with my Lord and all excited about the Spirit's gifts and the arguments and doubts my coursemates have about all of that. Was in a desert for a while then, when all the voices and my foolish heart got in the way of Us.
Funny how school was the trigger point - there was that period in '04 when I was taking philosophy with an anti-Jesus lecturer who was intellectually too strong for me to debate, all those circular arguments about free will and yet through that, You taught me faith.
Some part of me can't believe this furnace/ desert is happening now.
Now in 2010, me in a full time position working for the church I love. Oh Lord, I've not felt the heat this strong for as far as I remember but I'll hold on to your Truth that I'll never be tempted beyond what I can bear.
I've not felt as stripped bare as now, almost helpless, this numbness, but I'll come, over and over again, just as I am dependent on Your Grace, desperate for Your touch, convicted of Your Goodness.
You are my Author. And You know my story and it will not just have a good ending, it will be great chapters all the way through.
I cling to You.
Cling, when I have no more strength in the natural. Cling, when the questions overwhelm. Cling, when my heart swells to the point of bursting. I cling to You.
Pull away the lies, my Lord. Pull away the enemy's devious whispers and hidden cloaks. Pull them away from my mind, my heart, my soul and spirit.
I just want to sit with You and let the world go still.
Help, my Lord, You who are my rewarder and my protector.
Lift up my head, strengthen this reed, stop me from running into what my eyes can't see.
Still my anxious thoughts, Dad. Wrap me up, won't you please, with all of You.
I just want You.
Friday, June 04, 2010
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
10:54.
There r days when i just want to sit in my mom's kitchen, read a marvel comic and have a bowl of bak chor mee with extra chilli and vinegar.
Not that any thing went wrong or that it's a bad day. Just that those days when I did that were well, good.
Maybe it's just that I've not been back since Feb and don't know when next I'll go back.
Maybe it's the impending rounding up of 29 years.
Or just the innocent simplicity of those days.
Sojourner, sojourner. Lord, help me please to really get this - that this world is not my home.
There r days when i just want to sit in my mom's kitchen, read a marvel comic and have a bowl of bak chor mee with extra chilli and vinegar.
Not that any thing went wrong or that it's a bad day. Just that those days when I did that were well, good.
Maybe it's just that I've not been back since Feb and don't know when next I'll go back.
Maybe it's the impending rounding up of 29 years.
Or just the innocent simplicity of those days.
Sojourner, sojourner. Lord, help me please to really get this - that this world is not my home.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
20.37.
I used to think oh my, I hope my blog archives never get deleted or all those chronicles of days that would never return will be gone with the wind, and the fading capacity to remember everything.
I still think it'd be awful if that ever happened but hey, look, my last blog was a year ago.
I used to write every single day - Be it journalling, blogging or well, reporting for work. Emails and chats do not qualify, of course.
Some preacher said that time goes faster the older you get. It's a fact. And we are not even parents yet. Dear God, help us make time for everything, amen.
It's always reassuring knowing your God has the whole world in His hands and understand all those quantum physics and what nots and your world is firmly held close to His heart :)
I love Jesus.
Today has been a laid back day, just the two of us, taking it slow and catching up on rest and "us" time. Last night, we had our first Kingdom Uni event, Welcome Party.
It's probably the best service I've been to for a while.
Of course I believe that God can be in every type of service and worship is possible everywhere but frankly, when everyone's praising and worshiping outside of their comfort zone, when church is rather sweaty and kinda loud esp at during the preaching, I feel SO at home and incredibly spot on where I'm supposed to be.
We started with dinner and moved on to games before praise and worship. During the games part, I stayed outside to do a quick clean up so that after service, we could pop off for the KL tour without thinking of those stuff. At one point, I literally felt drawn to run in to witness what's going on.
"Witness" - That's the right term, it wasn't just to watch or to see but oh, my heart was drawn and I ran it to witness the service.
Praise was going off the roof, everyone was in the front, no one seated and then Ray went up for the welcome and I felt tears well up and this sense of amazing happiness. Finally, we are doing a youth service. I was smiling ear to ear as I slipped out to put the broom away.
The rest of the night was awesome.
It was the first time in church that I see our African sisters standing up and dancing in agreement during the preaching. And our own home guys and girls were awesome too.
Something shifted last night. And I celebrate it, celebrate You and how contagious and lovely You are, Lord. But dear Lord, ready us, ready us to stand firm and see far. It's time to run, I know and Father, we can only do it with You leading us every single step.
We've never been here before but we trust You and ask to know You more that we can lead your people to more.
Skye C h u a h no longer really exist. No personal agenda, no dedication to "me". If I never became a pastor, it's okay, if I go back to corporate, it's okay too as long as all I do is simply within Your Perfect Plan. 'cause the call is not to full time or to "calling", the call is simply to Jesus and I want to know Jesus and bring Him to everywhere He positions me.
Dear sweet Jesus, here we are. We decrease, You increase and oh, bring Your reality to all that You lead us into.
I love You, Lord. For eternity. You are my God.
Love,
Yours
I used to think oh my, I hope my blog archives never get deleted or all those chronicles of days that would never return will be gone with the wind, and the fading capacity to remember everything.
I still think it'd be awful if that ever happened but hey, look, my last blog was a year ago.
I used to write every single day - Be it journalling, blogging or well, reporting for work. Emails and chats do not qualify, of course.
Some preacher said that time goes faster the older you get. It's a fact. And we are not even parents yet. Dear God, help us make time for everything, amen.
It's always reassuring knowing your God has the whole world in His hands and understand all those quantum physics and what nots and your world is firmly held close to His heart :)
I love Jesus.
Today has been a laid back day, just the two of us, taking it slow and catching up on rest and "us" time. Last night, we had our first Kingdom Uni event, Welcome Party.
It's probably the best service I've been to for a while.
Of course I believe that God can be in every type of service and worship is possible everywhere but frankly, when everyone's praising and worshiping outside of their comfort zone, when church is rather sweaty and kinda loud esp at during the preaching, I feel SO at home and incredibly spot on where I'm supposed to be.
We started with dinner and moved on to games before praise and worship. During the games part, I stayed outside to do a quick clean up so that after service, we could pop off for the KL tour without thinking of those stuff. At one point, I literally felt drawn to run in to witness what's going on.
"Witness" - That's the right term, it wasn't just to watch or to see but oh, my heart was drawn and I ran it to witness the service.
Praise was going off the roof, everyone was in the front, no one seated and then Ray went up for the welcome and I felt tears well up and this sense of amazing happiness. Finally, we are doing a youth service. I was smiling ear to ear as I slipped out to put the broom away.
The rest of the night was awesome.
It was the first time in church that I see our African sisters standing up and dancing in agreement during the preaching. And our own home guys and girls were awesome too.
Something shifted last night. And I celebrate it, celebrate You and how contagious and lovely You are, Lord. But dear Lord, ready us, ready us to stand firm and see far. It's time to run, I know and Father, we can only do it with You leading us every single step.
We've never been here before but we trust You and ask to know You more that we can lead your people to more.
Skye C h u a h no longer really exist. No personal agenda, no dedication to "me". If I never became a pastor, it's okay, if I go back to corporate, it's okay too as long as all I do is simply within Your Perfect Plan. 'cause the call is not to full time or to "calling", the call is simply to Jesus and I want to know Jesus and bring Him to everywhere He positions me.
Dear sweet Jesus, here we are. We decrease, You increase and oh, bring Your reality to all that You lead us into.
I love You, Lord. For eternity. You are my God.
Love,
Yours
