Daily Recharge
Mal Fletcher

You're No Accident!

03 July 2006

Isaiah 49:1-2 '… Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me; he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver.' (NIV)

You are not an accident of birth. God doesn't have accidents! The fact that you are here at all is the result of divine providence, God's hand guiding history. The fact that you are called to be a Christian and set apart for God's great plan, proves again that he is very deliberate with you. Now that you're living for him, the Lord wants to declare, even to people that come from afar, that he formed you and set you apart. God gave you a name before you were born. That means that he was involved in shaping your nature and your destiny, your calling, before you were born. He's fitted you with the nature you need to fulfil the purpose he has for your life. You were born for the work he has you doing now and the work you will grow into over time. There's nothing accidental about your life at all. There is purpose in your existence. Even when it seems that nothing much is happening for you, there's a purpose in it. There are times when he will hide you in the shadow of his hand. He will put you his quiver, like a sharpened arrow awaiting its appointed task and time. Yet even then, when you're itching to go and wondering why God is working so slowly, you can remember that he's keeping you close to himself. You're not in some storeroom somewhere, momentarily forgotten while God attends to more important matters, or helps more important people. No, you're in his quiver; you're on his person and carried by him at all times.

Prayer: 'Father, I know that you have a very deliberate purpose for my future. Shape the nature that you've given me into something that really hits the mark for you. And help me to remember that, even in the slow times, you don't forget me.'

20:49.

In Singapore, my hair smells like Dove conditioner.

That's 'cause my huge bottle of Pantene went to Malaysia with me and the half full tube of Dove stayed here.

When the wind blew, slightly cool and soft and gentle, and sent my hair moving as I walked along that lane from the bus stop to my block, I smelled the fragrance and thought about how I probably shouldn't have spent so much on Body Shop and like-category stuff. Oops.

I have been in Singapore for about a day now.

I noticed it the last time I was back - Somehow, my home register in my consciousness in a way akin to that time when I stepped back home from Melbourne. There's a certain smell in the air, pretty pleasant, I think mixed with shower gel smell for some reasons, a certain feel to the rooms, and oh, my lovely lovely bolster so soft and cuddly.

Oops.

Bak Chor Mee, mee kiat, extra chili, extra vinegar, please.

Mmm.

I drummed for service this morning. At 630, my hp alarm went off and so did my Dad - He got up and came to my room and called me to wake up, just the way he does regularly.

Church is the same but bigger. Bigger crowd with more faces I do not recognise.

Drumming was very very enjoyable with a freedom in the Spirit, close-your-eyes-and-sing-out-loud moments and chit chat afterwards with some aunties, uncles and the young women.

Two aunties - one almost 70 and another in her 40s - were learning line dance together when most people left. The older one was the teacher. "You got to shake your hips," she said.

I was chatting with a new comer, a young China girl, just few days old in Singapore and hoping to find a job in advertising and graphic design which she took a degree for.

I found myself a bit worried for her. Working overseas ain't that easy and ain't that hard but knowing English well helps here.

I'm supposed to be working from home this week, doing design work, and I'd also be making a trip to the Sg office. Not sure when though so I would have to call them tomw and check.

One of my aunties is having a chalet tonight at Changi Aloha. It started yest alrdy. I'd prob be going tomw, am undecided whether I want to stay a night or not. It would be good to see the aunties again though. I wish R a y is with me so we can revisit Changi together. We spent Valentine's there. It's a pretty lovely place, colonial bungalows next to the sea and all.

Still, my love will be coming on Sat so that's cool :)

I plan to take some time out, chill, relax, don't-do-any-thing-except-think-journal-pray-worship stretches this week. Also, I am looking forward to meeting my amigos around town.

Spent this afternoon with church friends at Plaza Sing. They bought me Anderson's ice cream after I refused cake. Hah. Walked around after that, hit my two usual shops. Was pretty amusing walking around and just being "girl", I think.

My brother just showed me this whole prelude to some super 3D war game he's playing. When I sat down at his bed end and looked at his flat screen monitor, it felt very familiar and quite sweet I guess. I think I like knowing he can have someone in the house who he can show such techy stuff to. My parents are not techy.

It has been a good day. Nearly fell asleep a few times on the MRT ride back... nothing changed, hah, sunday afternoons and sleepy me.

Sidenote: I love being able to use 11mbsp unlimited wireless any where in the house.

Over and out.

Updates later :)

And *huggs* for my baby.

15:00.

Can you tell I'm in blog mode?

Just a short one this time, I give you my word.

Last night at about 1045pm, R a y and I went downstairs to one of the mamaks a short walk away to... catch the Italy - Australia match. Yeah, just had to watch it :P

I really liked it though we were sat at the back of a couple of chimmeys who went through probably four sticks each in the first half. The walk to the mamak in the cool night air (the air at my place is just really nice at night, especially at downstairs where the exit faces the hill) was very soothing and pleasant. And ordering a teh panas and just watching the match on a projector screen while all round, about a hundred fans nursed their drinks and let out collective arghhs and oooohs... was pretty cool.

I can imagine how Feq Sq and Lygon would be insane last night but I was just glad to be at the mamak with my baby catching a match.

:)

13:08.

Lina Joy. 42 years old, Malaysian. Muslim for 26 years. Christian for 14. And now, the culmination of her fight to have her country recognise her faith so she can do what everyone supposedly have a right to do - get married, have children, live a life.

The verdict supposedly comes out today. Do please pray.

From The Star
25 June 2006

All eyes on Lina Joy case
This woman wants to get on with her life – get married, have children
but something is blocking her plan. She cannot register her marriage
at the civil registry. C H E L S E A L.Y. NG examines Lina Joy's dilemma.

FORTY-two years ago, a baby girl was born and named Azlina Jailani by
her Malay parents. The girl was brought up as a Muslim but at the age
of 26 she decided to become a Christian.

In 1999, she managed to change the name in her identity card to Lina
Joy but her joy was incomplete as her religion remained stated as
Islam.

Now having waited many years for the word “Islam’’ to be deleted from
her IC so she could have a legitimate marriage or offspring, the issue
may finally be resolved once and for all.

The Federal Court gave leave in April for her to appeal on the
question of whether she needed to prove apostasy on her part before
the word “Islam’’ could be deleted from her IC.

This question, which the apex court is going to answer after it hears
her appeal this week, will no longer be the lone anguish of Lina and
her boyfriend.

The verdict will have repercussions not only on these two, otherwise
very ordinary people – she is a sales assistant and he a cook – but on
other Muslims who are in the same boat.

Chief Justice Tun Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim, when granting the
leave in April, said that the matter was of public importance.

“Further argument followed by a decision of the Federal Court would be
to the public’s advantage,’’ the top judge said.

Ahmad Fairuz together with Federal Court judges Justices Richard
Malanjum and S. Augustine Paul also allowed the question of whether
the National Registration Department had correctly construed its
powers to impose the requirement on Lina when it was not expressly
provided for under National Registration Regulations.
Another question that the court would be determining is whether the
Syariah Court is the sole authority to decide on the issue of
conversion out of Islam.

During the leave proceedings, Lina’s counsel Datuk Dr Cyrus Das argued
that the NRD had acted beyond its jurisdiction.

“The unwillingness of the NRD to delete the word ‘Islam’ is
unreasonable,” he said.

Das also argued that renunciation of Islam was a matter of
constitutional right.

Senior federal counsel Datuk Umi Kalthum Abdul Majid, who is
representing the NRD and the Government, argued that Lina’s case did
not raise any new issue.

She said the NRD had not imposed any new condition but was merely
complying with the law of the land, which authorised the Syariah Court
to deal with matters involving conversions and apostasy.

“How can the NRD change the status of the applicant to say that she is
no longer a Muslim? It cannot do that.

“If it does, then it would be officially pronouncing the applicant an
apostate, which even this august court cannot do for obvious reasons,”
she said.

Sulaiman Abdullah, counsel for the Federal Territory Religious
Council, told the court not to allow apostates to abuse the NRD in
order to avoid facing the punishment by the Syariah Court.

“We cannot have a back-door method for people who try to avoid facing
the Syariah Court by going to the NRD to change their status from
Muslim to non-Muslim,” he said.

The leave was granted more than six months after Lina’s appeal was
dismissed by the Court of Appeal.

She had appealed to delete the word “Islam” from her identity card and
to claim that she was free to practise the religion of her choice.

The Court of Appeal, in a majority decision ruled that the NRD
director-general was right in not allowing the application on the
grounds that the Syariah Court and other Islamic religious authorities
did not confirm Lina’s renunciation of Islam.

Justice Gopal Sri Ram, who gave a dissenting judgment, said the NRD’s
refusal to make the amendment in Lina’s identity card without an order
or certificate from the Syariah Court was null and void and was of no
effect.

The case first entered the legal arena on April 23, 2001 when the High
Court refused to decide on Lina's application to renounce Islam as her
religion on the ground that the issue should be decided by the Syariah
Court.

It also dismissed Lina's application for an order to direct the
department to drop the word “Islam” from her identity card.

12:19.

A piece from Charisma & Christian Life about Christian artiste Nicole Mullen. It is really just a profile. Nicely written and professionally executed with quality. The type of profiles on the "type" of persons I like to do.

The last two days, I've been resisting the blahs. We are working on this visa for me which requires the Singapore regional office to hire me and send me over. Sg would have to pay my CPF and when I did the calculations yesterday and see my earnings in SGD, I guess it felt a bit... hard. Like I told R a y the other day, I wonder when I would again be able to afford a holiday like I did last Dec when I took an almost month long Melb trip which cost about SGD2500 all in all, and went back to work for just a few days before I receive a monthly pay check that covered all the expenses. It's just a bit hard, thinking about moolah.

But I resist. I resist feeling insecure just because my coffers are not overflowing - Let the poor say I'm rich. I resist feeling helpless because I'm not sure of my finance - and subsequently career - future - Let the weak say I'm strong. I resist little niggling voices that says to jump back into the river I got out of not too long ago because He who called me is faithful to complete the work He started in me.

I will press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of me. (Phil 3:12)

Last Saturday (We attend the Sat service instead of the Sun's), the worship leader led this old song. It was from the Integrity/ Hosanna album In Christ Alone - another song which strikes to the core of me - and titled We'll Be Faithful.

"Forgetting what lies behind
Setting our hearts on the prize
Always keeping our eyes on our Lord Jesus
We are running this race to win
All the way to the end
Laying down every sin that seek to hinder us

And we'll be faithful!
To our calling
For You are able to keep us from falling
And in Your Promise we will run
You'll be faithful to finish the work you began in us."

Just typing out the lyrics by memory has the ability to bring forth tears.

I remember back in poly's campus crusade days, my Bible Study leader, Ruth told me that her room mate, another full-time worker, Kathy brings out her guitar and sing that song whenever she's discouraged.

The song has remained one of those songs I sung over the years to encourage myself and remind myself of my purpose, my call, of how my God is faithful, has called me and I want to be faithful and run this race and run it well.

My current church, DUMC has been doing a series on the book of Phillipians and I'm loving how relevant and wide the book is. Every time I read a passage, I gain more understanding and I'm reading the same passage over and over again and finding comfort, vigour and renewal at the same time.

It's already midyear. In two weeks time, it would have been three months since I started this new career. I think I'm still adapting, still understanding the magnitude of such a decision's effects and consequences.

I'm going back to Singapore on Sat and a small part of me is tempted to take the full two or three weeks of work-from-home instead of the one week I'm taking. But I resist because I know my calling now is Malaysia and so I. will. not. be. moved.

Jesus!

Deliver me from my troubles, rescue me from my foes, silent the enemy and shut up the dogs that surround me. Keep their traps shut for their words are foul and against You. Out of the goodness of Your Name, save your servant. I will trust in Your Name for Your Name is good.

Jesus. I'm Yours.

And help me Lord as my desire echos Apostle Paul's. Though my flesh is weak, You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all I can ever ask or think of. I thank You. Thank You because You are always able, always ready and always full of love and faithfulness. Thank You because "You prepare a feast for me in front of my enemies!". Thank You because You have plans to prosper me, to give me hope and a future.

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

May that be what I do and always do.

Amen.

For the Glory Lord is Yours.

17:57.

I would be back in Sg on Sat and would be staying put for about eight days. Would be reactivating my hp no so sms/ call me, ok? :)

Where I live now: Damansara Perdana (DP) in Petaling Jaya. It's a pretty new area - 4 years old maybe? - and touted/ sold as part of the golden triangle of PJ. It's a nice town.
copyright/ tskye

When you exit from my condo, you see a hill right in front (pictured right here). It runs all the way around two sides of DP. It's pretty cool.
copyright/ tskye

"Herbie" - My Sweet Basil which has since died. Sniff. I only ate you twice!
copyright/ tskye

The living room. I can't seem to get every thing into the shot. I need a wide lens.
copyright/ tskye

The kitchen has a "window" thing which I like. And there's a door at the back of the kitchen leading to a service balcony (they call it dry yard).
copyright/ tskye

The pool at night. One of the pools overlook the PJ night scenary.
copyright/ tskye

And to end with a random pic: My Tuesday lunch - Butterhead lettuce, sliced carrots, feta cheese, smoked salmon, some raisins dressed with a mixed extra virgin oil and balsamic vinegar dressing. :)
copyright/ tskye

17:21.

For you :)

09:53.

June 15, Thursday was ray + me's anniversary. It was a working day so we decided that we would only properly celebrate on Sat instead. Besides, my man obviously had something up his sleeves, only letting on that "you will know why it (the "real" celebrations) needs to be on Sat when you know what it is".

Still, we wanted to have a nice dinner on Thursday. The plan was to first go to my place, let me shower and change and then his place and let him do the same. When we got to my apt, I went to my bedroom to get ready and R a y casually urged me "Take your time lah, we got lots of time. I don't want us to rush".

So I was slowly choosing what to wear. I decided to amble out to ask his opinion about something and hey wait, what did my boyfriend go?

I walked around the house, wondering if it's some hide-and-seek then decided to open the front door and see if his shoes are still there. I opened the door, went "honey?" and a second later, he sort of "popped out" from one side with one arm suspiciously deliberately hidden by the wall.

Then with a big grin, he presented Pressie No. 1 =)












12 roses, one for every month we have been together :)





He later told me the story of the roses. The delivery man had came too early (r a y specified "earliest 615pm" so we would def be at my apt) - he called r a y at 5-ish, saying he couldn't find my condo. R a y went out of the company to talk to him and spotted him across the road! But somehow, when my dearest asked the guy "hey wait, are you in a brown polo?", the delivery dude responded with a "don't worry! don't worry! I'll get it there in time!" and hopped into his van and drove off. And....... my sweetheart went to his car and gave chase! Hahaha. He called the guy back (while on the van's tail) and was trying to direct him to where my condo is. After more of a roundabout chase, all was settled. Hehe. But ain't he sweet to orchestrate every thing? :)

*love*

Then there was Saturday.....



90 minutes of Pampering at Spa Indrani, located at The Pamper Level in uber posh Starhill Gallery. Click through for pix! :D




I only sneaked one shot off. Oopsie. This was the massage room. It was really cool, the jacuzzi was surrounded by rocks and sand (!) on a raised floor so it was surrounded by a sunkened lighted area where the loose sand had the spa's name imprinted onto them.

Before the massage room, they took me to this huggggeee room with a steam bath (the "plastic" seats and walls type where steam comes out of a sprout, not the wood and concrete sauna ones), two showers, one big warm hydropool/ jacuzzi and a cold plunge pool. The steam bath and showers were on one end then you take a small flight up to the pools area... I'm gg to borrow Germie's expression - le sigh... and the whole big room was mine alone! No need to share! Whee!

Oh, and after half an hour (you get to choose how long you want to spend in this room *rolls eyes in awed disbelief*), then I went to the room on the left where the masseur gave me a foot bath and scrub (I like!) with sea salt before the actual 60-minute Javanese massage. By that time, I was already feeling super pampered and soothed.


After I dozed off twice lulled by the very good massage, it was over (*sob*) but man, I felt really good and deknotted and all. I was feeling all knotted and stressed in my joints late last week, my love really got me a good pressie. So extravagant! But so sweeeet. The masseur walked me out the winding, mood lit corridors to the waiting area when R a y and some snacks and a herbal tea (you know, I really like the herbal tea one gets after spas) was waiting for me.





No kidding, the Pamper Zone is de lux and you get teasers to visit it every where. And oh, Starhill Gallery's toilets - with their designer sinks and taps, many mirrors, good design and aromatherapy-ed surroundings get my vote as the best public loos in Msia. Just a random note....


We then moved on to tea at this place called Tiffin Bay also at Starhill Gallery. They didn't allow photos taking but the spa's after-spa room was overlooking the lounge/ cafe so I took some pix of their crazy furniture and interior design. They had lamps made out of dishes and kettles and striped, spotted, flowered... etc couches. According to R a y, a New York designer did the whole gallery's unusual design.















You could see the twin towers from Tiffin Bay. The night view must be spectacular. And you can't quite see them but there's a pretty good jazz band playing at the corner. It's a lovely place. The atmosphere inside and outside were starkly different. Starhill Gallery's not the type of place I usually visit, I guess, 'cause it screams "posh" (heaps more than say, Paragon) but it was just a very lovely afternoon. Very very lovely. The green tea latte was amazingly good, so was the smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwich and the nicely presented apple crumble with ice cream. Mmmmm :)



We then walked out for an amble and went to Bentley Music, three floors of guitars, drums and keyboards =D Feels like the days when we went to Drummers Paradise and JB Hi Fi :)

Then it was a nice drive around KL while the sun was setting and casting orange shades over the twin towers and every where. We drove out to Ampang and R a y didn't disclose where we were having dinner until we got there itself.



Tamarind Hill! A multi-award winning Thai restaurant with Balinese decor. Situated on a hill, of course :)













You had to walk through these rustic gates (reminds me of Jane Austin type of gardens) and walk up a stone pathway, lit by lamp poles and flanked by little aromatherapy type candles in pretty holders.








I don't have pictures of the food but they were good stuff! We were sat at that veranda on the left (a mosquito web covered the whole verdana discretely to prevent bugs).








So that was how we celebrated our anniversary. What did I get him? I got him a coffee table picture book (laid out and captioned by me via a design programme, printed professionally and bounded with a woven cover and back like Bookbinders' books) chronicling our first year together (The story of "Us") and a hand-made card. He loved it, so do I. heh. But in the face of how he so extravagantly spoiled me and treated me like an indrani ("queen" in sanskrit), I almost feel bad for not doing more. Not that he would have that.

It's great having R a y in my life. When I look back at how far we have come, I still feel awed. And I can't help but be thankful. Thankful and overwhelmed by gratitude. Thank You, God, for writing the story of us, for allowing us to have a hand in choosing to have the story of us, for leading and guiding us every step in this story of us.

Help us love each other more every day and always love You more than we love each other. That even as our love for each other increase, our love for You increase continuously more so.
We love You, we respect You and again, we dedicate this love to You.

Amen.

And R a y love? Thank you :)

I love you.

14:05.

Quiz Time:

What do Malay schoolkids say when they want to call someone "chicken"?

"Ayam"?

LOL!

17:16.

My brain gets pretty fried after meetings sometimes. And though it is possible to launch into work frenzy, most of me tells me I rather chill and recover a bit before the more demanding work. It's a half hour before knock-off and tomorrow is Ray and my first anniversary :) We are only going to properly celebrate on Saturday but still, I have been looking forward to this.

It is good to be loved by you indeed :)

16:54.

A relevant article about finances for us all X-ers and Y-ers used to our generations

15:48.

History belongs to the heroes.

And being heroes mean doing what is right, sticking to what you do and daring to break out of that routine when you know it's right to.

Thought of that when a pirated version of X-Men 3 played on the tour bus a few weeks back. I have a soft spot for X-Men, though the movie franchise ain't heaps to shout about and No. 3 was a project of deviation and hollywoodisation. When Wolverine stabbed Phoenix (whose movie character was a total inaccurate adaption of Marvel's), I think I teared a bit thinking about good versus evil and how you have to do the right things in life.

And then, reading stories like this and this remind me of heros, with however varying levels.

I love Marvel 'cause though they bend the black and white between evil and good, there remains at the same time a starkness between the two. Within those pages are a glorified rendition of the lives we lead, albeit without spandex, much leather (for most) and special powers.

In history, we have glorified heroes for countless reasons. Reasons good, bad, right, wrong are subjective to the generations' perceptions.

There was this little unusual story in a Marvel comic - or if you like, graphic novel - I read. Can't remember if it was in The Avengers, X-Men or Fantastic Four but it was of this guy, short, dumpy, balding, with a paunch and a white short-sleeved shirt and suspenders.

Every day, Mr Dumpy wakes up and go to work. Life is painfully ordinary yet he possesses a secret power not even himself realises.

As he walked out of his bedroom wishing his wife would clean the place up, in his trail the room becomes clean. As he gets caught in a traffic jam and wishes that there isn't one, it eases up, actually, it ceases to jam. And as he wishes that his path to work is the same today like it was yesterday, unknown to him, he had just saved the world from an alien invasion which was causing chaos spilling over to traffic jams and the stuff he wished away at a thought.

He had the power to make things happen at a thought and no one, not even him, knew about it.

Sometimes, heroes are the unlauded quiet dumpy, who don't get recognition or who don't realise their own talents. They change lives and in sequence, the world but no one cottons onto that and they themselves are sometimes just not aware of it, be in because of their blessed characters or naiviety or whatever we would call it.

The movie Troy had an opening line amounting to such a gist: "In history, men fight for glory so they can gain immortality".

What does it mean to be a hero?

I don't think it always means being remembered in history.

I think it just means doing the right thing, as best as you can, in the best way you know how and just having the faith to continue and having the faith in "right".

Who's a hero?

In the pages of the Almighty, we will learn the answers, not in the pages of history.

The apostle Paul wrote this in Galatians 2:6 when speaking about "false brothers":
"As for those who seemed to be important—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance—those men added nothing to my message."

And in Ephesians 6:8:
"The Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free"

1 Corinthians 10:31:
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God"

Colossians 3:17:
"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Colossians 3:23:
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men"

So "whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ" (Philippians 1:27)

Ain't it better to be God's champion than a slave to the desires of men's hearts?

It's great being free to be everything I was meant to be.

11:56.

My parents left PJ yesterday afternoon. After six days of having them in my apt, I kind of got used to it. Well, rather, I got used to it really soon and just liked having them in the apt. The shopping and eating were enjoyable - Ray love helped and ferry us around so much - but the best thing was just having their presence in my home.

I realised that on Thursday, the first day of my two-day leave when after a leisurely wake-up and mamak brekkie together, I walked into the apt and saw my dad at the dining table in the living room, reading the newspapers like he always does and my mom pottering around the house neatening up their stuff like she always does.

Having an empty apt last night and sleeping back in my room instead of the living room felt slightly hollow. The house was again neat without their barang barang but that kind of added to that sense of well, hollowness seems to be the best word.

Mind you, it was a small percentage from how I felt when they left Melbourne after visiting for my graduation and I went back to the very empty 55/ 222. It was a period where I was undecided to leave Melb too or try to stay so I guess melancholy was exemplified.

It's different now. I know that I'm supposed to be here but for a fleeting fraction of a second last night, I wondered how old one has to be, what does it take to not have that small niggly feeling of it's easier to survive back home, let's pack up and go?

Just some honest sharing there.

If you ever been away from your home country, it's likely you know what I mean.

That said, I know I'm supposed to be here and I'm not going to give it up.

My folks' visit was great for me. I really really really enjoyed having them around - Dad's corny jokes, Mom's jibs at me, choosing clothes and stuff for Mom while shopping, seeing Dad enjoy the delish food, seeing my folks and Ray's folks mingle so well, seeing my love and my folks mingle so well :)

I really enjoyed it. Praise God for how good it all was.

They liked the apt, they liked every single meal, they liked Ray's folks, they love Ray, heh.

Friday morning, we went swimming. Have not had such family time for heaps long, I reckon. Not just because I am here but because our family never quite had the culture of hanging out together outside of the home. So it's really hols time that we get to laugh and try new things and just spend 24/ 7 together. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I'm thankful. Heaps thankful. Thankful for my parents, thankful for my brother, thankful for Ray, thankful for his parents and brother, thankful for my job, thankful for that new CG we tried which was very enjoyable, thankful for a very good week last week and the special week this week is, thankful for every thing. Thankful for how things work out, how things always work out, for how God is always ever in control and always always has my back. To take some lines from a truly soppy ballad that is hollow in application to human relations but a perfect fit from a saved to the Saviour - He is "my eyes when I couldn't see" and I am "because You loved me".

"The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!
He is the God who avenges me,
who subdues nations under me,
who saves me from my enemies.
You exalted me above my foes;
from violent men you rescued me."
- Ps 18:46, 47

I will fight for the heart of my King.

09:59.

Taken frm Germie's LJ... Tally: 85/ 100

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[] I have been to Canada.

[] I have been to Europe.
[2] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[3] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[] I have been snowboarding/skiing.

[4] I have played ping pong.
[5] I swam in the ocean.
[] I have been on a whale watch.
[6] I have seen fireworks.

[7] I have seen a shooting star.
[] I have seen a meteor shower.
[] I have almost drowned.
[8] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.

[9] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[10]I have had stitches.
[] I have had frostbite.
[11] I have licked a frozen pole (try freezer's insides) and got stuck there.
[12] I have stayed up ’til 2 doing homework/projects.

[13] I currently have a job.
[] I have been ice skating.
[14] I have been roller blading.
[] I have fallen flat on my face.
[15] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[16] I have been in a fist fight.
[17] I have played video games for more than 3 hours straight.
[18] I have watched the Power Rangers.

[19] I attend Church regularly.
[20] I have played truth or dare.
[21] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[22] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[23] I’ve called someone stupid.
[24] I’ve been in a verbal argument.
[25] I’ve cried in school.
[] I’ve played basketball on a team.
[] I’ve played baseball on a team.
[] I’ve played football on a team.
[] I’ve played soccer on a team. during a thunderstorm
[26] I’ve done cheerleading on a team.
[] I’ve played softball on a team.
[] I’ve played volleyball on a team.
[] I’ve played tennis on a team.
[] I’ve been on a track or cross country team.
[27] I’ve been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[] I’ve bungee jumped.

[] I’ve climbed a rock wall.
[] I’ve lost more than 20$.
[28] I’ve called myself an idiot.
[29] I’ve called someone else an idiot.
[30] I’ve cried myself to sleep.
[] I’ve had (or have) pets.

[] I’ve owned a spice girls CD.
[] I’ve owned a Britney Spears CD.
[] I’ve owned an N*Sync CD.
[31] I’ve owned a Backstreet Boys CD.
[] I’ve mooned someone.
[32] I have sworn at someone of authority before.
[33] I’ve been in the newspaper.
[34] I’ve been on TV.
[] I’ve been to Hawaii.
[35] I’ve eaten sushi.
[] I’ve been on the other side of a waterfall.
[36] I’ve watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[] I’ve watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[] I’ve watched all of the Rocky movies.
[] I’ve watched the Stooges.
[37] I’ve watched “Newlyweds” Nick & Jessica.
[38] I’ve watched Looney Tunes.
[] I’ve been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.

[] I’ve been called a geek.
[39] I’ve studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[40] I’ve not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[] I’ve hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[] I’ve hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[41] I’ve met a celebrity/music artist.
[42] I’ve written poetry.
[] I’ve been arrested.

[43] I’ve been tickled till I’ve cried.
[44] I’ve tickled someone else until they cried.
[45] I’ve had/have siblings.
[46] I’ve been to a rock concert.

[47] I’ve listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[48] I’ve been in a play.
[] I’ve been picked last in gym class.
[] I’ve been picked first in gym class.
[] I’ve been picked in that middle-range in gym class.

[49] I’ve cried in front of my [edit: boy]friend.
[50] I’ve read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[] I’ve played Halo.
[51] I’ve freaked out over a sports game.
[] I’ve been to Alaska.

[52] I’ve been to China.
[] I’ve been to Spain.
[] I’ve been to Japan.
[] I’ve had a fight with someone on AIM.
[53] I’ve had a fight with someone (brother) face-to-face.
[54] I’ve had serious conversations on any IM.

[55] I’ve forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[56] I’ve been forgiven.
[57] I’ve screamed at a scary movie.
[58] I’ve cried at a chick flick.
[] I’ve watched a lot of action movies.
[59] I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs.
[60] I’ve been to a rap concert (I genuinely don't like rap but if rap-rock counts, yes, since I been to Red Hot Chili Peppers).

[] I’ve been to a hip hop concert.
[61] I’ve lived in more than 2 houses.
[62] I’ve driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[63] I’ve driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[] I’ve been in a car accident.

[] I’ve done drugs.
[64] I’ve been homesick.
[65] I’ve thrown up.
[] I’ve puked on someone.
[66] I’ve been horseback riding. (Like pony riding when I was a kid. heh)

[] I’ve filled out more than 10 myspace/LJ surveys.
[67] I’ve spoken my mind in public.
[68] I’ve proved someone wrong. (Probably, I guess. Don't rem specifics)
[69] I’ve been proven wrong by someone. (See above. If debating teams count, both are yes)
[] I’ve broken a leg.

[] I’ve broken an arm/fingers.
[] I’ve fallen off a swing.
[] I’ve swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight
[70] I’ve watched Winnie the Pooh movies >.<
[] I’ve forgotten my backpack when I’ve gone to school.

[] I’ve lost my backpack.
[] I’ve come close to dying.
[] I’ve seen someone die.
[71] I’ve known someone who has died.
[72] I’ve wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.

[73] I’ve done modeling (Informal stuff. Product shots stuff for a friend's biz ventures and newsroom (not the last newsroom)]
[] I’ve forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[74] I’ve taken something/someone for granted.
[75] I’ve realized how good my life is.
[76] I’ve counted my blessings.
[77] I’ve made fun of a classmate.
[78] I’ve been asked out by someone and I said no.

[79] I’ve slapped someone in the face.
[80] I’ve been skateboarding.
[81] I’ve been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[82] I’ve lied to someone to their face.
[83] I’ve told a little white lie.

[84] I’ve taken a day off from school just so I don’t go insane.
[] I’ve fainted.
[] I’ve had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[] I’ve pushed someone into a pool.
[] I’ve been pushed into a pool.
[85] I am in love.

17:57.

I love the Lord for He heard my cry
He has delivered me from all things
He is the lifter of my head and the lover of my soul
And so I sing. I sing for Him.

14:37.

And it's just another manic monday.

But think again if this is supposed to get me down.

What can make me walk away from my calling?

I'm determined to make it nothing.

So shoo.

1055.

Bob the tomato and Larry the cucumber says hi.

Find out what they are doing on baseball pitches here.

0936.

Am listening to Your Glory by Planetshakers on my ipod. The urge to sing out loud is sizable and I do allow myself to sing softly now and then. I feel the desperation, the surge forward, the want to be immensed and to worship and touch Glory.

Random recaps of the week:
- Dad had to go hospital yesterday for a checkup. Earlier, he had to go for another check up after taking X-rays of his knees at the polyclinic. Thank God both initial visits turned out well. He has to go back for check-ups this month for both possible ailments but it seems that all's well. Thank God.

- I am feeling much more settled in at the new apt, waded around in the pool twice when r a y and myself took evening walks around the condo. My basil plant has thrived but now seems to be dying after I cut leaves off it twice for pasta :( Took pix, wld post up when I transfer photos to work lappie. Sandwich maker makes me happy and toasted sandwiches I don't get sick of. Located Tasty Cheese too so it's all cool. Been experimenting with the fillings - Cream cheese and bananas, tasty cheese and tomatoes and a sprinkle of mixed herbs, tasty cheese and ham....

- Ministry chairman dropped a bombshell two days ago - A brother has offered to let us work out of his two-and-a-half-storey-house-in-a-well-to-do-district. He offered that I can stay there too since there are five rooms. Probably be rent-free. And as good an offer it is (provided I can get out of my one-year lease) and I know it is, I kind of just feel way tired at the idea of moving again. I stayed almst a month at R a y's before the apt was avail and we got it into ship shape. It took a while with a certain amount of springcleaning effort to make it cosy like now. If I move again, it will really feel like the third move in what, two/ three months. And it will also means a change from a routine I got to love (God help me not be chained to routines) - R a y coming over for brekkie, us walking to work, going for lunches together, going home together. Transport may become more of an issue too. And somehow, though I'm totally fine with staying alone in an apartment, the idea of staying in a house alone is not as appealing.

- We had scrambled eggs on buttered toast with a "grilled" (more like push around the pan) half tomato on the side this morning :) with tea

- Have moved on to doing two versions of newsletter I aim to get out this month - A teaser in emailer and the real thing to be converted to pdf and mailed. No expenses for proper print, methinks

- The website is finally sort of up. Lots more work to do.

- I'm going back to Sg for a very short trip over the weekend. R a y was going to come along but there weren't any more tickets :/ Decided not to take Monday off since my folks are coming, arriving on Tues evening and I rather take Thurs and Fri next week off to take them around.

- *gulps* My folks and r a y's folks are going to meet next week (!!!)

- Didn't go cg yest 'cause the wed adults grp we have been attending was going to King Crab restaurant for a "bonding" meal. What happened to cheap mamak? We are looking out for another young adults group to try before we confirm confirm stay in the wed group.

- Had some little problem with landlord who owns management maintainence fees. We (r a y mostly) have had to be sort of middlemen to pass on messages but all's good now.

There's probably more but that's it for now, I guess.

Take care ya.

0931.

From Jono's multiply.

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% Supergirl 75% Wonder Woman 70% Green Lantern 60% Superman 60% Iron Man 55% Robin 50% Catwoman 45% Hulk 35% The Flash 25% Batman 20%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

17:41.

I was fully aware of what I was getting into when I chose to take this step of faith but at the moment, a news flash has left me feeling like the rug has been pulled from underneath my feet. And I'm not too sure whether I should rejoice or cry. Changes - So many people professed to love unpredictability. Sometimes, I feel like being cynical towards such expressed sentiments. Then I remind myself I'm no longer old me. And I tell myself now, live it out. Live out what you believe in. Live out what you preach. And deep inside, I know it's all going to be more than okay. Even though I still don't know what to feel.

Dear Jesus, I just want to stay in Your Arms.

09:59.

From Next Wave.

Isaiah 54:4 'Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.' (NIV)

The phrase 'do not fear' or 'fear not' is mentioned more than 60 times in the Bible. In fact, it is one of the most often repeated phrases in the word of God. So, it's obviously important from God's point of view that we learn not to be afraid. In an age of terrorism, where fear is used as a major weapon for manipulating public opinion and shaping international relations, learning to trust rather than fear can be a difficult thing. Yet, it's essential if we're to truly explore the power of faith and arrive at the full inheritance of influence that God has in store for us. The interesting thing about this great promise in Isaiah is its context. The verses just before this one relate God's instruction to his people that they should expand the place where they live, the realm of their influence. The people are told to stretch out to the right and to the left. They're instructed not to hold back, to position themselves for a new time of expanded impact on the people around them. Then comes this powerful promise: as you believe for this influence and position yourself to receive it, you won't be embarrassed, humiliated or put to shame. As you start deliberately sticking your neck out and looking for greater influence, you won't be left looking foolish. In fact, any shame you suffered earlier in your life will be completely forgotten. You just won't even think about it any more, because of the greatness of what God is doing in and through you in this new season of growth. We've all been through trying times, seasons where perhaps every part of our lives seems to be on trial. During those times, we've known that it's important to response well and with a faithful and gracious spirit, but it hasn't been easy. Never mind, the Lord says, your day is coming! You will not ultimately be disgraced -- your faith will be seen to be vindicated. So, don't be afraid. Keep working for greater influence to honour God's name, and watch him turn the trials into triumphs.

Prayer: 'Lord, thank you for your promise that I will not be humiliated or disgraced if I live wholeheartedly for you, in faith. Help me today to work for even greater influence in your name, for your glory, knowing that you won't ever let me suffer shame.'

16:15.

"Many have more faith in a
textbook written by a person whose
eyes may be clouded by their own
secrets than faith to rely on the
Word of God
who knows the
end from the beginning"
- TD Jakes, Women, Thou Art Loose

11:05.

Agnes is a funny. Only started reading the strip a while ago, drawnly mostly to the shared name with a friend still dear. But I have been hitting it up to view it almost daily here since. And ain't it true, girls? We don't want no spiritual sissies.

12:20.




Gerberas from my love, given on Saturday to a surprised me when I came out of the bedroom after showering. It wasn't a special occasion but the flowers made that day special :)

You are sweet, sweetie :)

[Wld had posted them earlier but I'm not hooked up to internet at home and hv to post this frm work after transferring pix frm my lappie.]

11:14.

I do apologise for such a small photo and the shamefully few number of pictures but my handphone's camera was set on a smaller resolution and we were too busy eating. Here however is the Korean dinner at an authentic Korean place R a y brought me to last Monday on our 11th month aniversary.

Side dishes are one of the things we lovee about Korean meals. And we have dined at Korean restaurants in Melbourne (Seoul House at Chinatown, Kimchi Mama at Bourke and Kimchi Tray at Flinders), Singapore (tt Korean restaurant at Heeren) and now, Malaysia. Kimchi Mama and Seoul House so far takes the royal cake at quality and authenticity for me. But Nak Won at Sri Hartamas now rank among the top.

Heck, for side dishes alone, there were 15 dishes. And one full-sized fluffy egg thing steamed in a hot clay pot.












When they first showed us to our table, we were like, "That's kind of big for two" then when the dishes came and basically filled up the whole table, we realised that this is as small as a table could practically be in that restaurant.

The barbeque beef ribs (somehow carved from the ribs so perfectly it falls in two giant big pieces) were grilled over a get this, charcoal fire which they carry over to the table. The waiter didn't just throw the meat on and let it sizzle and let you cook it yourself like so many restaurants do. He stood there throughout, giving the tender, perfectly marinated meat his devoted attention then cut it up and serve us as each piece cooks.

Like yum yum yum.

And they also served us the kimchi soup, ladling the fiery goodness into two bowls for us.

R a y had researched on the restaurant, refusing to tell me where we were going and after work, we went back to my place and got changed to casuals. The town (if "town" is accurate) Sri Hartamas had a lot of Korean and Jap places, looks like some sort of Korean/ Jap enclave along with supermarkets.

Nice place :) We had to walk a bit from our park to get to Nak Won which was away from the stretch of restaurants but when we found it and walked in, it was more wow than those little restaurants we walked past for sure.

I love it that we can always have a good laugh over random, goofy things :)

This time, we laughed till we cried at the end of the meal. We were sitting like beached whales (couldn't even finish all the side dishes, the horror!) and the waiter very attentively fetched fruits and two bowls of clear water for us.












Right, the fruits are dessert, we know but what about the bowls?

As soon as the waiter put down his load, R a y turned to me and said, "This reminds me of the story of this guy who was served..."

I finished: "a suspicious bowl of something that he didn't know was dessert or water to wash hands?"

We laughed.

Darn, we were in the same predictment.

We had the fruits, joking about the two milky bowls of something and making unserious paranoid digs at the waiters watching.

There were these small, very thin sheets of ice on top, or at least, I thought they were ice. My love on the other hand thought it looked like little soup suds which I, after a second look, thought was possible.

The fruits got consumed and we sat around, keen not to do nothing for too long. Then while the waiter was looking away, I ahem, discreetly slipped my pinky into one bowl. Then the waiter looked back and I pretended to be rubbing my fingers while R a y stifled laughter.

"It's soup, I think 'cause there's no oil or any thing," I said.

"Orh, but if it's dessert, there's probably no oil any way," it struck me immediately.

Our tummies were hurting by this point from all the laughing and we were attracting a bit too much attention from the staff and diners. I think we looked a bit insane for a fairly upclass Korean restaurant.

In the end, I waved our waiter over and asked him with a straight face what the bowl contains.

"Is it dessert?"

"Yes, it's made of barley water and [other things I can't remember]'' he said.

"Oh, so what is it called?'' I followed up to sound like an interested patron, not a stumped mountain tortoise from outside Korea.

He said something along the lines of "chay" or some word that starts with C.

Any way, R a y laughed at me and I laughed even more after that but we tried the dessert and it was nice.

Lesson of the day: Sometimes you can drink what looks like soupy water.

To be serious though, it was a great dinner and I loved the whole time. Thank you, Mr R a y C h u a h ;> I love u, honey =)

17:39.

Motives, motives, motives.

"It is not what a man
does that determines
whether his work is
sacred or secular, it
is why he does it.”
- A. W. Tozer

18:11.

Creationism debate moves to Britain

17:43.

The new evangelism: The man who put conscience on a coffee cup

Rick Warren's megachurch attracts more than 20,000 each week. His book tops the non-fiction bestseller lists. Andrew Gumbel meets a preacher with a world mission in Lake Forest, California

Published: 17 May 2006

Rick Warren is not your typical American evangelist. He's not an especially charismatic speaker, keeping his rhetoric deliberately folksy and low key. He's unassuming, a little bit pudgy and has a fondness for Hawaiian shirts, even when he's delivering his weekend sermons.

A long time ago, he decided he never wanted to be on television. He doesn't think a lot of televangelists or the powerful, media-anointed leaders of the Christian right, whom he accuses of "self-centred consumerism" and self-aggrandisement at the expense of their spiritual mission. Until relatively recently, he worked almost entirely under the radar and, despite building a movement of extraordinary power and reach in churches around the world, was barely known in the broader culture.

And yet he has achieved extraordinary things, and intends to keep achieving many more. His church, which he founded from scratch 26 years ago in the freshly planted suburbs of Orange County, south of Los Angeles, attracts more than 20,000 worshippers each week, making it one of the three largest congregations in the country. His sermons, which he posts on the internet, are downloaded and used by thousands of churches around the world.

His book, The Purpose-Driven Life, has been America's top non-fiction seller for the past two years, doing twice as much business as The Da Vinci Code with 25 million copies. He and his congregants have adopted a unique method of organisation that has permitted them, among other things, to set up drug treatment programmes in southern California and the Mexican border town of Tijuana, provide three square meals a day for the entire homeless population of Orange County for 40 days, and offer training to more than a quarter of a million priests around the world - everyone from pastors in big-city churches to ministers in the smallest villages in Africa.

Business journals such as Forbes and Business Week have likened him to a spiritual version of Starbucks or McDonald's, spreading his "brand" irresistibly around the world. Starbucks has even honoured him with a long quotation printed on its coffee cups, part of a series in which customers are offered words of wisdom from major writers and thinkers. Warren's line - asserting that none of us is an accident, that we are all part of God's plan - is the only one from a religious figure.

And Warren has much more up his sleeve. He believes he knows how to tackle what he calls the "global Goliaths", problems so intractable that nobody has managed to come up with a solution. He's talking about poverty and illiteracy and pandemic disease, and even more abstract concepts like spiritual emptiness and egocentric political leadership. What he really wants to do is launch a new Reformation, in which the organisational power of churches - any churches, representing any faith - is harnessed to deliver what politicians and international aid organisations and NGOs cannot.

"The first Reformation was about creeds, and this one is going to be about deeds," he said in an interview in his Green Room - a soundproofed office right next to the cavernous Worship Centre where thousands of people gathered for a Mother's Day service last Sunday. "The church is the body of Christ, but really its hands and legs have been amputated and all it is is a mouth."

This is heady talk, of course, but those who have known Warren for a long time know he has an uncanny habit of delivering on even his most outlandish forecasts. Already, he has the ear of presidents and prime ministers. He has spoken at the World Economic Forum in Davos, at major universities around the world and at America's Council on Foreign Relations. Among his friends he counts business leaders, prominent management consultants and Bono of U2.

The key to his operation is not theology - he preaches a relatively middle-of-the-road, intellectually undemanding form of evangelism - but organisation. Warren may not be on television, but he's been a presence on the internet since 1992, before Netscape or Microsoft Explorer. A bit like Howard Dean's insurgent campaign for the US presidency (until it fell apart), or the approach taken by guerrilla organisations such as al-Qa'ida, Warren sees the internet not only as a tool of communication but also of empowerment.

People are not only encouraged to take their own decisions in his system; figuring out what they should do to help others is at the core of his message. "It's not about you," reads the opening line of his book, and he means it. The purpose of life, he believes, is to figure out what God intends each of us to achieve, and then to set about achieving it. The internet makes it that much easier for everyone to thrive as individuals, but also to feel part of a vast, growing support group.

Warren's Saddleback Church may be huge, but he has also split the congregation into manageable "small groups" of eight to fifteen people, who act as each other's church family, set goals and go about achieving them - whether it is helping someone's troubled relative or setting off on a mission to Cambodia.

These small groups, in turn, communicate with other small groups, perhaps half a world away. Always, the focus is on finding someone with credibility as a community leader and working through them. This is not a traditional, paternalistic model of missionary work, in other words; it's more about creating a decentralised, cellular model of organisation that can reach the sorts of people who usually remain invisible and entirely powerless.

Churches, in his view, are uniquely able to do things that government or business cannot. "One, they can provide universal distribution, since there is a church or place of worship in every village in the world. In many places, in fact, they are the only civil service structure available," he said. "Two, they are able to provide the largest possible pool of volunteers. And three, they have local credibility."

Warren's interest in addressing the world's thorniest economic and social problems is relatively recent. It was stirred by his wife's interest in Aids, and then confirmed during a trip to South Africa when he asked to be taken to a village, more or less at random.

To his amazement, the pastor of the local church (which met in a tent) knew who he was - he had been downloading Warren's sermons for years from a post office computer an hour and a half's walk away. To his consternation, one-third of the 75 people attending the service were children orphaned by Aids.

"It was a shock, a wake-up call," Warren said. "That night I stretched out on the ground to pray under the African sky and asked, 'God, what else am I missing?'" And so he launched his so-called PEACE programme - a kind of viral marketing project for global stability, economic justice and access to health care and education. For now, his organisation has undertaken a series of pilot projects in 67 countries, just to see how it goes.

At first, missions go out with tools they think will be useful to help out the local population - school and medical supplies, and the wherewithal to start small businesses. Mostly, though, the job of these groups is to find what Jesus, in the Bible, describes as finding the local "man of peace", the person with decisive influence over the local community.

Already, his approach has had an electric effect on leaders in Rwanda, a country for which he has a special fondness. His ambition is to turn all of Rwanda into a "purpose-driven nation".

It is hard to get an idea of the scale and scope of Warren's plans by visiting the Saddleback Church. Certainly, the place is huge - a campus of several buildings and vast car parks spread over 120 acres beneath the hills of southern Orange County. But this is a conservative, highly affluent part of the world, and the congregation reflects it - lots of trim, elegant, perfectly coiffed people in Sunday best.

One part of the campus feels a bit like a biblical theme park. Three crosses are perched on top of a hill behind a mini-amphitheatre. On the far side of the hill is a replica of Christ's tomb, complete with an electronic device that permits church staff to roll back the boulder at the flick of a switch. A system of pumps and plexiglass dividers along a small stream allows the waters to part, Red Sea-style.

Some of Warren's core philosophy comes across on closer inspection. Aside from the main Worship Centre, there are smaller venues - one with gospel music, one with a Polynesian theme, and one in which services are conducted in Spanish. Even on a campus swarming with tens of thousands of people, decentralisation is plainly evident.

Warren said: "Nobody comes here because of its size. They put up with the size because of what they get out of it."

In the centre of the campus is an open-air terrace where the church's multiple activities - everything from a 12-step style-addiction recovery programme to overseas missions - are advertised. Anyone interested in participating has instant access to contact people and a lot of background information.

The system works. Warren himself has made several personal adjustments since the runaway success of his book made him rich and famous. He and his wife, Kay, decided right away they would make no changes in their personal life. They still live in the same house, and drive the same Ford truck, which is now six years old.

Rather, they decided to make some aggressive decisions about the money flooding in. Warren not only stopped accepting a salary from the church, but paid back his accumulated salary from the past 25 years. Rather than giving away 10 per cent of their income to charity - the traditional tithing system - they decided to give away 90 per cent.

After some grappling, Warren also understood how best to deal with his own celebrity. He turned to Psalm 72, in which Solomon prays for more influence, not less. Warren said that opened his own eyes. "The purpose of influence is to speak up for those who have no influence," he said. In other words, becoming famous didn't have to be a distraction; it could be a tool in attaining his goals.

"I could have bought a Pacific island and spent the rest of my life having people bring me drinks with little umbrellas in them," he said. "But this is not about me, as I wrote in the book. It's all about others."

10:28.

Take this as just musings on a rainy Thurs morning.

It has struck me for quite a while already and I've no doubt these musings are coloured by a media student's shades but for quite the long while, it seems that more and more folks are simply doing photography, photoshop and design.

I'm not talking professionals, just norm folks, trained in another discipline but exercising the same tools. They take up photography, learn photoshop, design stuff... they don't always produce very good work but sometimes they do.

Not that quality of product is any sort of pre-requisite for interest.

Maybe it's just something an ex-media student notices... why is everyone getting into all of these?

Maybe it's a generational thing. That the "now" age which happens to be my era too is this tech-savvy one who is relishing the control over media that is now personal and intimate.

With our tech stuff and desire to make beauty, we flock to the tools of imaging.

Yes, media is a job in the limelight now... but more than being a job - or maybe it's the same in every job - possessing some media skills seem to have become mainstream. Mainstream could mean simply hobby and interest but hobby and interest could also stem from a desire for identity.

I don't know, I have in my mind this image and past experience of teenagehood - When you latch onto something you can do or like to do or what's "cool" and find your identity in it.

I'm not excluded from the experience but I wonder how much of what adults do come from that same desire most evident in teenhood of craving identity, wanting acceptance (with others with same hobby) and perhaps, the desire to be cool, except we no longer express it as adolescent a manner.

Media kids, is "cool" moving out of the tuft formerly only ours? Is it sweet poetic justice that Mass Comm kids once revered as coolest just because we are Mass Comm kids are some kind of falling from grace as all and sundry move into "our tuft"? As Arts students become journalists, computer engineers become designers and every one else become photographers?

Heh, I'm taking the mickey out of us would-be elite-now-merely-working-cogs-in-machines too.

[It is worthwhile to note with most joy that knowing Christ elevates one above being cogs]

Strange how we - I know I did to an extent - found my identity in what discipline we were in.

Even stranger how some of us still do beyond the non-core natural derivement.

Identity is something on my mind these days. Well, actually, like the potentially indulgent ponder (with no desire to offend, no motivation to upset and no judgement on people) above, it has been so for quite a while.

Back in the days of Campus Crusade and initial Christianhood, when older, more mature folks told me of the importance of memorising scripture 'cause I then build my identity on them and build them into my identity (I'm paraphrasing), I kind of was disinterested. Memorisation was something I saw as rather primary school, and not something I was eager to practise in my freed years.

But thankfully, God got that wisdom into me consciously these past two or three years. The Power of The Word of God cannot be trivalised and honestly, I think identity is one topic that deserves many words, spoken or written or signed, so as it is shared, preached, explained and hopefully accepted to bring life change.

Back when I was a kid, I don't think I was much aware of identity. Were you? I was aware of what the adults said about me though. Mom telling my older brother "see, mei mei can wear her own socks and shoes" made me feel proud and able and with that and other incidents and comments, I build up an idea of who I was. That continued... from being younger sister, to yu lian's best friend, to the kid with the best english in class, to prefect, to chubby puberty yrs (ack) to counciller, LDDS and so on and on.

There IS a natural process where you understand more about your natural talents, inclinations, temperment and such through your interaction with what's outside of you - Your role in family, in society, in school and work, what makes you tick, what you like doing... etc

There is no denying that. And I'm not slamming the process.

I just find it strange to see the swagger in people's steps when they get a good job. Or the tilt in a proud chin at one's ministry. Or the slightly crooked smirk when one thinks one is more intelligent, more cool, simply just better than you.

I reckon though upbringing, growing up years, environment, school, jobs and so on do play a role in defining who you are, we should not be restricted by those definitions.

The search for pegs for your identity is like that not-too-little voice which half plead and half screamed a couple of times since I arrived to my new life in Malaysia: "What's this? You are the girl who became a journalist at 21 with a diploma! Mass Comm student! BA with Distinctions! yada yada yada!"

Or: "Shopppp! You are the quirky, attitude Topshop, little offbeat designers boutiques, babe who can take all those poka dots and stripes and lovely things in Topshop, Miss Selfridge and all that!"

Or: "You are earninggggg in ringgitttttt".

And to that, I have to say: "Whatever. Yeah right. And so What."

Pretty stupid when you type such out, isn't it? Yet basing identity on occupation, looks and money seem to be most common.

See, it's really ridiculous and terribly heart-wrenching to build ourselves on sand instead of rock. Like building houses on sand and losing everything you thought you are when a big wave strikes, it's painful to start with wrong foundations and insist on building on those wrong foundations.

I don't believe there is any way of getting around the above.

We have to build on Christ, the only Solid Rock which will ever stand. What that means is that we learn to find our identity in Him.

Which is not that far off really. When you learn that your eternal Hope is in Him, just as your Strength is in Him and really, your whole life is in Him, doesn't it make sense to just trust Him more 'cause He is unfailing?

Unfailing in His Love and Character. Flawless.

Able to be built upon. Able to hold you up. Able to stand for you and fight for you, to protect you and keep your love for Him and for abundant life warm and on fire.

It. Just. Makes. Sense.

As you base your identity on Jesus, the King who remembers your name, you learn to dwell in Him and so you live in Him to take hold of every promise He has for your life, every good work prepared in advanced for you to do, every hope and future He has planned.

It's biblical.

I want to find my identity in Christ. I want to build my life on the Rock. And it comforts me to tears knowing that God is gentle enough to rebuild the areas of my life without tearing me down or me dying. Though it's wondrous - 'cause I have died in Christ and was born anew spiritually to allow the changes I needed to happen happen.

I'm going back to the basics. 'cause the magnitude of them is so that I need to always dwell in them and I always want to live in them.

Who am I?

Why am I here?

I know. And if I can, any one else can too.

13:20.

Random moments of amusement:

A plump little 5-year-old girl at CG grabbing a Pooh Bear soft toy, shoving it to someone's face and saying: "It's fat! Just like me!"

My mom absent-mindedly saying "Same to you" when I wished her Happy Mother's Day.

Pre-10am, not-socially-functional me's reaction to a volunteer who's here to help us make calls to neaten up the database: "Ooooh, you are the angel of help and all things good"

>.<

17:47.

I: have moved to my new apartment
I am: feeling happy that today's our 11th month anniversary
I am aware: of the knots in my shoulders and neck
I want: to get out of the office fast so we can go on our date

:)

All in all, happy and contented am me. More words and alphabets coming up when I blog next. Have a good Monday, cheers.

1035.

You stood before creation
Forever within Your hand
You spoke all life into motion
My soul's in His hand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin went upon Your shoulders
My soul's in His hand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to YOU

I walk upon salvation
The Spirit of light in me
My soul to declare Your promise
My life in Your hands

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am

is Yours

- The Stand, United Live

1214.

"Through a growing understanding of God's plan for their lives, a new intimacy with God through prayer, and a spirit of joy and courage even in life's toughest moments, people of faith are able to gradually face up to the issues that have caused them anxiety. What begins as a spiritual experience, grows out into every other aspect of their being - soul, mind, and body. That's what the Bible means when it says that we can be totally transformed by the renewal of our minds."

- Next Wave

11:07.

My man is sweet =)

10:27.

I'll Sing,
Sing I Love You So!
And I'll Sing,
'cause the world can't take away Your Love

1030.

Fragmented thoughts moving at the speed of a Matrix jump have been making themselves home in me. Granted, their occupancy is not exactly new but their qualitity seem to be multiplying.

It has only been two and a half weeks but it feels longer though every working week - the current one seems to be moving at a nice spanking pace - has felt short so far.

Full-time - What does that mean? And how does the church view those who work in Christian organisations, not churches? If hierarchies within the Bride exist, whether man-made or not in a divine plan I do not have full capacity to comprehend, then does the church's staff view those "outside" it lesser? Like O_o

Those are just thoughts, by the way. No need for alarm.

Life still confounds me, albeit not as much as it did the 13-year-old me wracked with existential questions I was probably just able to understand.

Friends, friendships which have lasted, friendships buried by distance, friends from eras past and present; secondary school friends, church friends, first job friends, poly friends, work friends, melbourne friends and friends from more than one category - It makes me feel odd somewhere inside to think of how fluid relationships can be and how all of us seem to have such different lives. There are acquaintances which I frankly think I rather never met but I choose to believe God has a purpose for every thing and so I live and learn and give thanks for the friends I'm glad I met.

The church and us Christians still baffle me at times too, albeit the 24-going-25-year-old me deals with it better than the 19-year-old me who slammed a church door in exasperation.

Whereas I once refused all leadership in cynicism of "the system", now, when I see leaders whose lives just seem whitewashed, I get upset and worried (with more worry than upsetment) and I learn to pray for their flock and trust God that He will show their leaders what they need to see. And if I am to voice what I see one day, He will have to nudge me to 'cause it would kill me to do things with the wrong motivation.

I - and the "I" is same but transformed to be more like my Jesus daily - now live a life so different from what I ever had before and now and then, it's as if I feel my bones graze my soul and I either take a deep breath or refuse to breathe momentarily. It's like some invountarily reaction of the body responding to the touch of the strange essence of the soul it houses for just a little while.

I am still walking a step at a time, learning to walk by faith and not freak at how only one step at a time is illuminated though my God has given me a dream for the future.

And like how I emailed a friend just now, God has been blessing me heaps with little and big things. I've been kept busy thus enough not to go find time to mope or be melancholy or even homesick.

Talking about home, I'd be in Sg on Sat and bus back up to PJ on Tues noon to resume work on Wed. Which means I'd get to vote :) Monday's a working day in the Sg office and I've to get to Bedok from Woodlands at 10am but well, I kind of miss that little red dot so it would be nice to be back home.

It's strange how home PJ is getting to feel like too though. And the last two nights, I think Ray's family and myself had really good dinners around the dining table. On Sun night, after an awesome dinner of curry prawns, veggies, tofu in soy sauce and er, I can't rem the others, we top them off with three boxes of durian (mmmmm) and a slice of Secret Recipe Choc Banana cake. Very awesome :)

Ray's mom has also cottoned on that I am a soup and veggie lover and always asks me to get more soup. Like how my own mom does, she also looks happy when the pot is empty. Heh, mothers are cute and awesome lah.

I almost wrote I feel so adult now but saw the unthinking conformity of the sentence. I've felt more adult than my age meant me to be for half my life so really, the would-be "adult stuff" should not be overwhelming.

My soul knows very well that I belong to the King who remembers my name.

It's a Thursday and there's a website mock-up page and a letter to supporters to redraft. I'll catch you folks later, ok?

Have a good day now.

Cheerios.