13:10.

I was lying half on my futon, Anna Sui's extraordinary moisturing mask (ah, the joys of freebies) at its rehydrating work and me just looking up at the clear blue skies with fluffy white clouds peeping in through the window.

And a sense of time struck me, like one of that imaginary Cupid's arrows.

That moment of perfect satisfaction, that moment of peace and contentment, that moment of wonder at the now-and-now, it will never repeat. Every moment will never ever replay again. They are here once and not ever again and this is time. This is life.

I look at my overspilling wardrobe drawers and contemplate life.

Thought about packing up the winter clothes and sending the coat to a dry cleaner.

Idyllically mentally running past shops front windows along Lygon and Elizabeth to remember where cheap dry cleaning services exist.

I thought about the people in my life now and my heart felt heavy at the thought of the tomorrows after I leave.

People with whom I make connections, acquaintances who I do care for and want to know better, beautiful people whose paths I want to share.

I think I feel most alive when I am answering doubts, comforting pain, sharing a life's tale.

So what? Every story gets cut off when I leave?

Goodbye S k y e T, nice knowing you. See you in heaven, maybe.

Is that it?

Oh the pain.

Maybe at the end of the day, I fight change as much as I fight normalcy.

And the only baggage I can bring is all that I can't leave behind.

My heart aches.