13:34.

"And You feel like no one before
You steal right under my door
And I kneel 'cause I want You some more
I want the lot of what You got
And I want nothing that You are not"

- Original Of The Species, U2

Am I getting ready to leave the ground?

Because the world looks so different when I am on my knees. Sometimes, all I can see are carpet and dust. And all I can feel is that I want You some more.

I have not vocalised this before until last night - The S k y e T who left Singapore 10 months ago and the S k y e T now is so different, miles apart. When I said that during an unscripted testimony last night at the last official OCF meeting for the semester, my soul took a step back in realisation of the worth of my words.

My life is a tornado, a whirlwind, sliding doors, escalators... a seagull's bounce just before it flies, a sparrow's bewilderment when it gets blown out of a tree, the landscape when clouds cover the sun and switched the world's lights out. In the vapour, in the wind, in the stuff one can't never catch, I see my life.

All that I can't leave behind I take with me in the luggage of me. And may God find it fit to use what I have, and may what I do leave behind be of some worth. I have no idea if I have left something, make some dent, changed the order in the slightest bit for good.

Maybe I am learning to say goodbye.

Throughout my life, at those crossroads - End of Sec school, end of Poly, end of jobs... it has not been hard to walk away. More often than not, it has been easy to move on. There have been trepidation, of course but I have been eager to go on to something new, start a new chapter, carry on writing the pages of my days. This time, it's not the same.

I am honestly not sure what is going to happen.

But I am staying on my knees.

And I am not going to get up.

I want to see God face to face while in this mortal flesh.