11:49.

I remembered thinking before, more than once, how it is tragically fortunate that I live in these times. As a journalist, as an observer, a lover of history and such, knowing that you live in times where forever is changed gives you a strange feeling.

Berlin Wall, 911, Gulf War, Iraq War, Invasion of Afghanistan, terrorism, communism's embrace of capitalism, and now the Asia Quake.... In between, there were the purer political upheavals and power issues and struggles.

To use the word "fortunate" to describe living in a time like this is not something I can do now. In little pockets of volatile moments in the first few days after Dec 26, resentment and detest towards world affairs and tragedies were paramount, as was a remote protest - which was nevertheless there - about being here now, a protest heightened by how I can not do much.

Dec 30, last year, I was with two guys - who are at this moment, my closest friends here - on St Kilda beach and I told them what I have expressed before - that this is a strange generation that we are, and what we have seen and will see will be much and extreme and I am not sure if I want to see how our world will be 26 years later, when I am 50. [If I ever get there].

I am living life on my knees.

I have learnt and am learning that that is the only way to get into flight and stay midair.