12:43.

Hallo world.

It's good to know things are settled. Not that every single thing has been so, but now I know I am definitely going to Australia for the spring intake, I feel more... grounded. Less up in space floating like debris about to collide with a space cow.

[I echo your "eh?" on the animal mention, don't know where that came from either]

I've not been posting in my own voice for a while simply because that voice has not been very coherent.

The last two or three weeks handed my mind a microphone and pushed it into the milky way. Every thought inside my head was amplified, and none was within my grasp of reason or in the sphere of mono-logic.

It didn't help that the university folks were not very, well, switched on. After a written test and a phone interview a month after, I waited three weeks to receive with pleasure an email affirming I made the cut and can finish the journalism programme in a year.

I reverted with an email responding to the choice of compulsory subjects I have to take and they revert with an email saying I need one and a half years to do the programme instead.

Which threw me up against the wall since I was already mentally settled on going, and since Hannah had already found and paid a deposit for the apartment.

I fell back on my back-up plan - Media Studies, which I can definitely complete in a year, but just received another email from the Journ folks clarifying a one-year programme provided I take Radio Journ, Online Journ and two journ subjects among my eight modules.

To summarise, effectively, I now have three offers - UniMel Arts (2 yrs), Rmit Journ (1 yr with compulsory subjects) and Rmit Media Studies (1 yr, with no compulsory subjects).

UniMel is definitely out.

And by Monday, I have to make up my mind whether I want Journ or Media Studies. The only thing holding me back from Journ is the compulsory module Radio Journ.

I'm loathed to do group work. This anti-social nerd has thrived in the independence of working life as a journalist and is admitedly, unsure about group work in a student setting again.

Oh, I want to study. Fer sure, ye. And as scary as it sometimes is to me, I need to be a fish out of the water again so I get out of my comfort zone and complacency.

Then, there's the pride which is my thorn in my flesh. The pride that recoils in horror at the thought that I may not be as competent as I fancy at a subject which I rather not take (though I do see its interesting side and am interested in it).

[Interlude: *takes knife and stabs Pride*]

hehehheehhehe, oh well, such a long post deserves an interlude.

But to revert to the topic at hand which I have no doubt will have a significant bearing on my future, part of me wants to run away, skipping into Australia and such a new phrase of my life. Another wants to remain at my desk in the daily's office, hitting some good shots at times and seeking comfort from the little things.

Both are good places to be at but I am not omnitranscient.

Good thing God is, and He will be with me everywhere. It feels a bit like I am Peter about to step out of the boat to walk on water, and I am scared fric-less but I'm daring to move because God is with me.

Choices, choices, choices.

I don't want to be po ma (indecisive) any more. It's a strange trait to take on and not particularly appealing.

There's a lot more areas and issues and feelings to talk about and share but I should demure. I can see eyelids at half-masts already.

Abba's Take A Chance On Me is playing in my head.

Take a chance?

Okay.