1637.

Am back in PJ.

What It Takes To Make A Student - NYT article on Bush's No Child Left Behind legislation and campaign.

Was just msging Ray. If God sees it fit to ever place me in a position where I can influence legislation, I'd - among other things like compulsory education (which thank God, Singapore already has laws for) - push for minimum sentencing and/ or push for more hefty minimum sentences for many crimes, notably sex crimes and murders. Have just been reading too many cases lately where the sentence doesn't fit the crime.

1048.


inside the big green bus.

Every month, I take a 5-hour bus ride up to Bangsar in KL and from there, my baby fetches me back to my place at Damansara Perdana in PJ. The routine repeats, of course, 'cept otherwise when I come back to Sg.

I've grown to be almost ambivalent about the going to and fro. "Almost" 'cause I don't particularly enjoy all the travelling but I don't dislike it either. It has to be done and so so be it, adapt. "Almost" also 'cause I do like having time with family in Sg again and meeting up friends and also 'cause I also like going back to that condo apartment and being able to potter ard, bake and live differently.

Living differently seems to be the required ride and nope, it's not at all unenjoyable.

I read a Spidey comic on Sunday... and in it, Peter Parker got a chance to speak with Uncle Ben again through the provision of one of Dr Strange's hoodickey.

I don't remember the exact lines but Uncle Ben was asking Parker how he has been after all these years. Parker struggled for the words, the years had been filled with some of the hardest and worst stuff to fight but Uncle Ben then asked with illuminating clarity - Are you happy?

'cause despite the nasties of life and the times we feel like we are scraping by or our hearts are being scraped, at the end of the day, they don't need to dicate our happiness.

Happiness and misery are not always exclusive.

And I kinda loved how clear that was. We can't quite see our lives in entirety. I think that's why I've always loved stories - Comics, movies, dramas, books... 'cause I can see the characters' lives in entirety and that helps me see me. See the grand design.

All's good, folks. All's good :)


Courtesy of Ray, while we were on the choo choo train back to KL last month

1630.

I really like Window In The Skies.

The falsetto chorus, bright guitar twangs, and odd bridge at the back are kinda Beatlesque, no? Post 1967 Beatles. Nicee.

And from Herald Sun, here.

U2 at Corner Hotel

ROCK royalty came to the streets of Richmond yesterday when U2 filmed a music video at the Corner Hotel.

U2 filmed scenes for Window in the Skies with 300 extras at the pub.

The song will be the next release from their new compilation 18 Singles.

Bono talked with fans before entering the venue, coming straight from a meeting with Treasurer Peter Costello.

The extras all signed confidentiality clauses.

Scenes were shot inside the bandroom and on the rooftop beer garden.

It's not the first time the Corner has hosted a rock great -- Mick Jagger played a secret solo show at the venue in 1988.

U2 head to New Zealand tomorrow, before gigs in Japan and Hawaii that finish their rescheduled world tour.

The band played to more than 350,000 people during their Australian tour this month, which ended in Melbourne on Sunday.

U2 also filmed footage at their Melbourne concert on Saturday, which is expected to be used on a DVD.

Meanwhile, U2 are beating their heroes the Beatles in record stores this week.

U2's 18 Singles is flying out of record stores.

The record sold more than 10,000 copies nationally on its first day of release on Saturday, with more than 100,000 copies shipped to record stores to cope with demand.

U2 are expected to be No. 1 and the Beatles' new compilation, Love, at No. 2 on next week's Australian chart.

17:05.

U2 sings The First Time at Telstra Dome, Nov 19 2006 :)

15:24.

Thank You that You're coming back for me.

That I'm not abandoned, nor cast aside, that You are preparing a place for me in that mansion with many rooms.

Thank You that You've never left me and will never leave or forsake me.

That whatever I do, You are involved and that You are all that You are, so I can rest and hope and believe and love. So that I can indeed love and be loved.

Thank You, Jesus.

_____________________________________________________________

On Friday night at CG, Jessey asked us to share an experience in our lives where God intervened or provided for.

Among testimonies of how God miraculously set up salvations, how God helped a cater from home chef when the gas ran out with time ticking out too, how God provided money in the mailbox when it was needed... I thought for a testimony to share.

And I remember again that He has always been very much here. Here with me. Every beginning and ending of every phrase, He has provided jobs and money always in time - From graduation from poly, first job, 2nd job, T N P (all without any waiting around in between); leaving TNP, money to go to Melb, acceptance into 3 courses; job waiting for me in Sg when I finished; going to Msia and three job interviews and three offers even when I, by myself, could not have high confidence in my foreign marketability as an employee.

He, my God, my King, my Provider and Warrior, has always provided. Always.

Always pulled me through when I'm going through the preparations of the next step, totally unsure and operating by faith, often faith much tinged with desperation.

I shared about an incident that was so very much Him.

I shared about Ray and my love story. The beginnings of it.

I left Melb in Feb 2005. We only found out we liked each other after that. We could only pray and keep contact with the avail means. We didn't know if it would work out and to our eyes, it was hard to see how it would.

He's Msian, I'm Sgean. I'm in Sg, I can't go back to Aust. He's in Melb, doing a one-year internship with church and when he returns to Asia, it would be to Msia any way.

We simply prayed for God to show His favour and will clearly if He is pleased with us becoming a couple.

I started work in end March. In end May, while still a contract staff who has only rejoined the company barely two months, I got a junkett to Sydney for a movie premiere.

It was a trip that a correspondent told me I can't get 'cause I'm on contract.

But my editor submited an application to send me and the executive editor somehow approved it. All within a day.

I wasn't supposed to get that trip. I didn't qualify for junketts.

God intervened.

On my own, I didn't have money to go to Aust but God provided - The movie company even allowed me to fly back to Sg from Melb instead of Sydney.

Most movie premieres are held in LA, not this part of the world.

God intervened with His divine set-up, a plan beyond what our eyes could see or what we could had expected.
___________________________________________________________

And through Friday till now, me spending Sunday at my room in Sg being blissfully contented, I feel the relevance of God's intervention and provision in my life resound and resonate, going deeper and spreading wider like ripples upon my spirit.

I'm in awe.

And I'm sorry. Sorry to You for allowing myself to be so caught up in worries and the stuff that hangs midair. I'm sorry that I forgot my faith allows and requires me to be midair and You are the Giver and Provider of all I would ever need or require.

And when You give, You give exceedingly and abundantly above all I can ever ask or imagine!

And now, after I look up properly, I start to feel the way I'm supposed to be. I feel more like myself, who You called me to be. And I stir with a quiet wondering cause it feels like I'm standing on the threshold of something else great.

And as always, always. You will provide. You will intervene. You are with me.

And I'm really, really, really, really thankful!

Lord Jesus, I love you. Saya betul-betul cinta Mu.

09:57.

Woke up today a few minutes before my 730am alarm went off and I felt better and more well than I had in days :) Think last night's nice good dinner at Ray's really helped :)

On Fridays, my man has regular 730am meetings (I know... O_O ) so I make my way to work alone. I do every thing a bit slower 'cause I don't have to be ready by 845 to meet him, hehe, so oopsie, it's not unusual for me to be late for work on Fridayyyys.

I'm really chirpy somehow with God Is Great playing in my head. As I type, I have a bemused smile on my face, despite having to retype this post 'cause the window somehow closed on me just now. hmmph! My jolly foot is not pleased. hahhaa. Oops, tt's one of my fave expressions these days - my jolly foot. Teeheehee.

:D

Earlier when I was getting ready, I felt "a slide" come on. You know these slides... when you suddenly feel like you are sliding down to a depressed state or grumpy fit, they are slippery stuff.

But this time, as it started, something inside just automatically rose up and rebuked it.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Is not your God great and mighty?

I remembered singing Great And Mighty in church in 2004 while I was in a really low, slided stage from philo and headache causing inner arguments and I declared Him over me.

My God IS great and mighty. Greater than any thing I would ever face. Mighty nuff to vapourise any thing in my path like poooooof! *does Ally McBeal baby dance*

So though I still don't know how this is going to work out and my lease ends in six weeks, He is mighty nuff to ta da! open up a way and deliver me!

There's always something to give thanks for.

Though the tap water was inexplicably yellowish today, thank God it cleared up after a while! Though the weather outside is aping the Sahara and I was convinced I got a sunburn just walking to work, thank God for a nice brekkie of apple crumble and chai tea :D in a nice apt where I can live comfortably.

And as I walk to work feeling seriously scorched, in my head I started talking to myself... I think it's God-guided 'cause I was just thinking how hot it was and then the pep talk came with full seriousness, bringing motivation and the reminder to be who I was called to be.

Simple stuff. Nothing cheem. Nothing existential but oh, how it lifted up my spirit!

"So things sometimes screw up. So life is sometimes hard. You just walk on, just walk on. Just keep believing that everyday is an adventure, even when it doesn't feel like it. I can't even see past my now, let alone my today, but He can. He sees it all and He promised an adventure with Him so just walk on, just walk on and believe. Just walk on. Walk on."

So I will. Though I sometimes slide down and I really can't see well and there seems to be decisions demanding action soon enough, I won't dawdle and avoid stuff or be depressed. I'd just walk on, continuing in faith, believing in my great and mighty God, remembering that all He is means I can rest and trust in Him. I will just walk on. Believe and walk on and dare to dream - That's what I'm called to do. Simply to live.

And so I will. Thank You, Lord!

"I'm at the place I started
out from and I want
I want back inside...
All because of You"
- All Because Of You, U2

10:58.

Have been down with fever and a stomach flu the last two days. Spent yesterday literally sleeping away and waking up just for a porridge diet. Thank God the weather was cool and I could get away with not switching on the fan (made me shiver) and thank God for a sweet boyfriend who dropped by unexpectedly with medicine and bread and milo at 8-ish, after he went home from my place after dropping by at 6ish.

This is a bit late but we really had a nice Sat night... didn't do a lot but it was lovely watching U2 @ Live8 together. U2, REM and later some acts we forwarded through. Then, we watched Dave Matthews Band live at Central Park (a close to 3hour set!) and I was totally flabbergasted at the range of genres they skip from and mish mesh together. Veryy impressive.

Nights in are good. Music's good. God's good.

And oh, somewhere in the wee hours of this morning, my fevered brain dreamt that Bono moved in next to me on this row of New Orleans like quaint houses with iron gates and creepers and old architecture in Singapore. He moved in with his wife, Ali and kiddies.

haha. Man, it would be good to be in Melb now.

14:29.

"The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now"

- City Of Blinding Lights, U2

Sometimes, that seems awfully true. I am learning a lot but at the same time, stuff that were simpler seems increasing harder. The way I approach some things seems to be less black and white, or maybe it's more black and white.

I've learnt many things this past year. One big lesson was to trust God to watch my back and be my defender when it comes to reputation. If people want to slam, if they want to slander, yeah, I first react with mute surprise then the classic symptoms of denial including anger (Any one rem that scene from High Fidelity where John Cusack imagined pulling out an air con unit and bashing up his rival in love? haha) 'cause I don't understand why such actions could ever be thought as acceptable, especially from fellow believers. But I withdraw my claws and allow myself to admit I'm saddened and I tell God about it and pray He help me not become or be the same.

But God is always faithful and I'm glad He is a warrior and a King, the Lion Of Judah not just the Lamb of God. I'm learning that it's acceptable to be angry (no, the pull off aircon bash people part was just funny... well, you have to see it) at the things He's angry at, even when these things come sugar coated at times.

And this is a big one - My heart is understanding more completely that it is true - There is no divide between the sacred and the secular. Each is a minister. And being effective for God is what counts. I'm quite sick of would-be godly types being proved hypocriterical or just poor vessels by their ineffectiveness. I'm really sick of wayangs.

You can be a minister and be bound for lesser rewards in heaven than say, a politician who's not always popular or on majority agreement's side but whose effectiveness for Christ outshines that minister. Not that it's about rewards but see, it's not about masks either.

If I'm honest, it's hard for me to let on I'm hurt sometimes. And keeping quiet seem to sometimes result in sadness. Be still my heart, God knows Your path.

1721.

From NYT here:

November 7, 2006

A Neuroscientific Look at Speaking in Tongues

The passionate, sometimes rhythmic, language-like patter that pours forth from religious people who “speak in tongues” reflects a state of mental possession, many of them say. Now they have some neuroscience to back them up.

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania took brain images of five women while they spoke in tongues and found that their frontal lobes — the thinking, willful part of the brain through which people control what they do — were relatively quiet, as were the language centers. The regions involved in maintaining self-consciousness were active. The women were not in blind trances, and it was unclear which region was driving the behavior.

The images, appearing in the current issue of the journal Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, pinpoint the most active areas of the brain. The images are the first of their kind taken during this spoken religious practice, which has roots in the Old and New Testaments and in charismatic churches established in the United States around the turn of the 19th century. The women in the study were healthy, active churchgoers.

“The amazing thing was how the images supported people’s interpretation of what was happening,” said Dr. Andrew B. Newberg, leader of the study team, which included Donna Morgan, Nancy Wintering and Mark Waldman. “The way they describe it, and what they believe, is that God is talking through them,” he said.

Dr. Newberg is also a co-author of “Why We Believe What We Believe.”

In the study, the researchers used imaging techniques to track changes in blood flow in each woman’s brain in two conditions, once as she sang a gospel song and again while speaking in tongues. By comparing the patterns created by these two emotional, devotional activities, the researchers could pinpoint blood-flow peaks and valleys unique to speaking in tongues.

Ms. Morgan, a co-author of the study, was also a research subject. She is a born-again Christian who says she considers the ability to speak in tongues a gift. “You’re aware of your surroundings,” she said. “You’re not really out of control. But you have no control over what’s happening. You’re just flowing. You’re in a realm of peace and comfort, and it’s a fantastic feeling.”

Contrary to what may be a common perception, studies suggest that people who speak in tongues rarely suffer from mental problems. A recent study of nearly 1,000 evangelical Christians in England found that those who engaged in the practice were more emotionally stable than those who did not. Researchers have identified at least two forms of the practice, one ecstatic and frenzied, the other subdued and nearly silent.

The new findings contrasted sharply with images taken of other spiritually inspired mental states like meditation, which is often a highly focused mental exercise, activating the frontal lobes.

The scans also showed a dip in the activity of a region called the left caudate. “The findings from the frontal lobes are very clear, and make sense, but the caudate is usually active when you have positive affect, pleasure, positive emotions,” said Dr. James A. Coan, a psychologist at the University of Virginia. “So it’s not so clear what that finding says” about speaking in tongues.

The caudate area is also involved in motor and emotional control, Dr. Newberg said, so it may be that practitioners, while mindful of their circumstances, nonetheless cede some control over their bodies and emotions.

1455.

U2's Brissy gig playlist. From U2.com. Can somebody say phwoar pls? Like phwoar ar ar ar phwoar.

07.11.2006

City of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
Elevation
Until The End of the World
New Year's Day
Beautiful Day
Yahweh
Walk On
Sometimes
Love and Peace
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Bullet The Blue Sky
Miss Sarajevo
Pride (In The Name of Love)
Where The Streets Have No Name
One

Zoo Station
The Fly
With or Without You

The Saints Are Coming
Angel of Harlem
Kite

11:02.

The Saints Are Coming, U2 and Green Day



I ain't a big fan of Green Day. Since ever, they have been more of a 90s band etched in my memories and nostagia for good tracks like Time Of Your Life, Basketcase and When I Come Around and then recently, I quite like Boulevard of Broken Dreams. But yeah, I think they are pretty good and heaps better than the younger bands like Sum 41 types.

But I pretty like the way this track works out, even though I do think Bono's voice overshadowed Billie Joe Armstrong's. In the opening, when it was just the latter, that sounded pretty good - emo, good strong voice but when Bono kicked in, oopsie, right... it's like comparing Aragon with Legolas.

Any way, enjoy :)

Oooh, and this is random but this is what I sent to Ray to send to his brother, who's gg for the U2 gig and is besieged with requests (mine included) for merchandise. hah.

10:58.

Living Beyond The Consensus

Romans 12:2 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will.'

God's vision for our lives is always sparked by a call and fuelled by a promise. Many Christians are simply taking their cues from the group around them, acting according to the group's expectation. But when God calls us, he always calls us out of something and into something else. God has selected you for special task. To fulfil that task you will definitely need all kinds of good people around you. None of us can fulfil God's call in isolation. But you need to make sure that you weigh up your actions and decisions putting God's calling above your social conditioning. That way, you can prove the will of God in your actions.

Prayer: 'Lord, help me today to live out your will. Help me to surround myself with the right kinds of friends – especially my close friends – because I need people around me who will encourage me in my call.'

09:56.

So comforting:

"Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the Divine Substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions." - C S Lewis

And Saddam Hussein is sentenced to Death.

1000.

Morning! :)

U2 arriving at their hotel news clip




Herald Sun's intw with Bono (booo hooo!) here.

Ray's bro is gg for the gig. My boss is off to Sydney on Sun and would be there for the 3 Sydney shows, not tt he wld go, I reckon. Man, 15 days to the gig I most want to catch ever by the only living band I actually love. Whew... still, I'm glad thousands of folks this side of the hemisphere would be able to experience U2 live. As for me? Dear God, You are fixing up my intw with U2 now, ain't You? *grin* Hv fun if u r gg. 

10:35.

On Monday, I read my landlord's reply to my email abt the malfunctioning heater.

"It's really hard to say, but I have to inform you. I woould like to let you know that I am no longer could sustain my home loan re payment to the bank. I have no other choice but to let go for an auction." (All in sic)

On Monday evening, after moping some on R a y's shoulder, I took out a scone recipe and worked the flour, butter, milk, sultanas then threw the dough onto a clean surface and kneaded and pressed, pulled and coaxed with my right hand.

Very relaxing.

On Tuesday, I got a call from the property agent who got me this apt (original lease till May) and she said she has a prospective bumi buyer who wants to see the apt on Sat morning. If the sale goes through, then I prob won't need to move out by Dec-end/ early-Jan but somewhere nearer to the original plan.

On Wednesday evening, I took the remaining scones and tore them up, then with milk, butter, cinnamon and two eggs, turned them into bread pudding.

I think I like the process of baking more than the products sometimes.

I've been emailing some property agents and surfing ard for housing. I reckon the ideal solution is to... buy a place. But yeah, that's pretty hard even though renting means 11k/annum gg up in smoke with nothing to show. Next best solution, and what I'm looking out for is a studio apt that would be cheaper and more sensible than my current 2+1. Rental won't be much cheaper, it seems, up to RM200 max lesser than now. But that would still do my finances better.

Whew.

It's all going to be okay. Which is something gargantuan.

Download this song from Lifehouse, I was shouting along to it last weekend :)

"How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?
'cause You are all I want
all I need
You are everything, everything
'cause You are all I want
all I need
You are everything, everything"

Thank God for CG tonight, weekend tomorrow, and the possibility of an abundant life.

All right, comments working properly now. :)