21:27.

Acceleration. Rollercoaster of Faith. Strengthen yourself in the Lord. God is pleased with your faith.

God is good and I'm just going to keep getting to know His goodness ever more.

Kingdom City.

I'm here, Lord. Take me as You want me. I'll do as You lead.

Thank You so for such a lovely hubby :)

I'm staying tight with ya.

Where is my home?
National songs.
Poets n poems.
Lyrical tomes.

Memories maker.
Venue settings.
When above all is
a home I've not yet seen.

Ironic oxymoron.
In age and time
we craft and cry.
Here n there,
everywhere we bend
where is the heart
but pulled astern.

One day that mansion with many rooms.
One day a heart not deterred by the view.
One day not a thought even given to this.
One day.

Last night, Ps Danny Gug was in church and he preached a msg that got me tearing up in so many places. It's incredible how God uses you when you are open about your brokenness. We don't have it together, I don't have it all together, but when I'm not trying to be someone else 'cause of that, well, God can employ me in this Kingdom.

At one point, he talked about there being a diff bwt "sent" and "went" as he shared how he was called into ministry. I teared up at the encouragement of his story and just the warmness of how I was not alone, I suppose.

There was a description that really got to me - how "friends and family just didn't have the time to contact" them after they move and "so there were times when it was very lonely".

There was no bitterness in the comment, just candor. No anger or malice or wrong motivation.

Nor is there in my identifying with the reality of that observation.

But see, I've positioned myself where only God can catch me, where only He can satisfy, where only He makes the most sense, where only He is my true reward and prize and all else are but side players in this race I run.

I've been sent. And there's no way to live except that of the sold out, God-fearing, obeying, living warrior daughter.

And in this new season where You remain, ever more keenly, my chief teacher, dearest Lord, I choose to pursue You in a new way and ask for the everything to do so.

Jesus, I'm Yours. No one's else, no object or man or purpose else will I serve. Just You. Just You.

22:49.

We brought Truffles on the 13th, a Monday and she was almost like an anniversary gift for us. White of coat but black of ears and eyeliner-ed, she was a joyful introduction to pet keeping. Despite the cleaning her butt and litter and her vigorous eating habits, she was an active, intelligent rabbit. Was apparently 8 weeks old when we got her so she would have been 9 weeks this week.

When we got home, she would hop about the cage near the side closest to us. Maybe she wanted food but I like to think she was welcoming us :)

When we stood at the kitchen and looked down at her cage from the wall window, she learnt to look up quizzedly.

First time I fed her hay, she took it immediately and munched so happily and excitedly at it.

She was learning to pee at the litter box, not in the cage.

When we put a finger or thumb on her little head, she would lay down, expectantly, to be stroked. Sometimes, she would spread her paws outwards and just look relaxed as a rug.

When we got home just now at about 10 past 6, earliest possibly we have been home from work before, we found her lying on her side in an awkward position, eyes tightly close.

I didn't dare touch her but Ray said she was already a bit cold and she was definitely stiff.

Cried over it just now and reconciling how strange it is that that little bundle of life is now no longer in the corner of our living room.

We even talked about who would take care of her when I'm away for women's retreat or when we are away on hols but all that's moot now.

And of course, I ask why. That's how my head is wired. But I know God is good and He is faithful and all things one day will be answered. If any thing, I learnt to love and give and I hope that little animal enjoyed the last 10 days she was with us.

Never had a pet before this.

So strange knowing she cannot be replaced 'cause she is a unique living creature.

My God knows even when a sparrow falls to the ground so I know He knows what happened to Truffles and allowed it and if my God saw it fit to happen, I'll trust in His character and know that all is still good.

RIP, Truffles. You were a great bunny.

17:33.

God is good. So good. Always good.

We were just chatting this afternoon about some financial stuff and deciding which bill to pay with the few hundred we have. Then, just now, I felt an urge to check my online banking and whoa, my account balance was way way way way higher than it was.

The EPF money from the closing of my account got processed and banked in within 3 weeks instead of the 4-6 weeks we were told.

So now, there is more than enough. Again, at just the right time.

God is great :)

14:11.

Fire, fall down.

Come as a rushing wind, searing hearts and minds, freeing spirits and identity, irrevocably changing lives.

Oh, Lord, we cry, Fire fall down.

Oh Lord, we cry, Fire fall down.

Break Out will be a rush of wind, a burning coal, an instrument for Your Hands to move. Dearest Spirit, we cry fire fall down.

0055.

Dear, dear Lord, I need You more each day now so much more than I did.

So much more Lord.

I don't want to do things, any thing, on my own.

I need You in all things, every area, every matter.

You are my wisdom. You are my joy. You are my pride. You are my hope, my delight, my king and prince, my every thing.

Dearest Lord, I need thee every hour.

So much more than before.

Pour Yourself out on me, my Lord. Pour out the grace, the anointing, the wisdom, the love, Your heart, divine focus, You.

Dearest, dearest Lord, I love You. I love You. I love You.

1150.

There are times when I still stop and suddenly be still, and wonder how I got here.

"Here" means many things - Being out of my country, being out of the journalism career my teenage self was so set upon and now being out of the corporate world and going into church full-time.

"Here" also means the unstoppable turn of time 'n tide bringing me to 28 years old in 2 months time. It also means being happily married with a most lovely lad. It also means having our own cosy apartment and a car, all these very adult-like accessories if one could call it that.

I wonder at how it has been 17 years, Dad, since I said my life is a blank cheque for you.

12 years since I came back to you. 10 years since I sung nothing compares to the promise I have in you and meant it with all I am and all I know.

Dearest God, I mean it still now, as You know.

It's May 15 2009. The year has galloped along at a pretty trot. And there are times when I look at the to-be-done list and allow all that I do not know how to do disturb the peace You have given me. But nothing compares, nothing, nothing, nothing compares to this great adventure You have masterminded and are on together with me, with us.

Just as I am. Walking along with my Jesus.

I love You, Lord.

Amen.

22:14.

It's funny how emotions carry humans so easily - Even now, seeing American Idol's judging section very oft makes me tear up slightly. Seeing someone's valiant attempt not to cry, someone's dream shatter, someone grieving for that someone, well, it all still get to me.

I'm sitting at our glass dining table with metal legs, Jamie Oliver's Naked Chef (oh, so young he looks and look! he's taking the mint from the fridge, not the garden!) is going on AFC and I'm waiting for a work email to come in, about to start tweaking a design thing for church, and waiting for my love to come home.

Today's his farewell dinner thang with his colleagues. Yesh, tomorrow is his last day at work.

Wow, we are so close now to this jump up I almost want to be freaked out.

"Jump up" 'cause that's how it feels, like we are leaping, not off a cliff or even out of a boat but just jumping up with arms open to be caught. Like a little girl charging towards her daddy's arms and bouncing right onto him, knowing she won't fall.

Lord, You are my God.
Oh Lord, You are my God.

My last day of work is next Thursday. My dept farewell is on Tuesday. That feels a bit strange - Nothing exceptional happening on the last day itself.

Friday, I'll sleep in, embrace a bit of doing nothing for a bit so I can let it all sink in that I'm no longer with Maccas. Then no doubt the work bug will kick in and I'll get some cleaning/ packing and random errands done.

Sat, we have combined uni LG.

Sun, we need to figure out how we go church and fly off that night itself to Melbourne for 13 days then come back, rest for a good week and prob go back to Sg for another week before coming back, hopefully with my parents.

We have a 3days 2 night penang hotel voucher we can redeem if we go up too :)

Am I excited? Yes, I am. But more than being carried by this, I need, Lord, to be carried by You.
You who created me fearfully and wonderfully, who knows what makes me tick and makes my emotions run, who knows what I need and what I want and what good or bad they do me, who knows my dreams, my hopes, my future, who knows the frazzled juggling act that I feel I'm doing in this last week, who knows the good that You will do through me even in this week.

Dear Lord, I don't want to do any thing except hold you tight, squeeze you at your knees; a little girl sitting on the ground just wanting to be close to her Dad.

I love You, Lord and I entrust all of these and all close in my heart to You.

I trust You, love You, want You. More.

Amen.

1419.

There are times when I do just stop and mentally float somewhere away from the organised tasks I'm at. I'm standing at the edge of a big step whose distance of leap changes and morphs along with my inner world.

The trappings of the world are a-falling.
Akin to the free fall the leap results
And me, I'm just a-following
To the beat of His heart in mine

Intertwined
Tied up tight
All around
and mashed up right

My beloved is mine
and I'm His
His banner over me?
It's love.

How did it come that I'm almost 28.
Quitting the corporate.
Running The race.

How did it come that Your Grace's so near?
Each n every step
Holding me here.

Away from the past.
Not hooked up in the future.
Just here with Omnipresence.

You and I. Just You and I.
Divine.

13:39.

Thank God for this cosy home in Damansara Perdana. Even when it's warm outside, a strong steady breeze is mostly present. It's quiet. Peaceful. And on days like these when I'm at home from work 'cause I'm just not 100% well, this cosy love nest sooths my soul and body and lulls me into a peace that I need.

It's Feb 12 2009. Where did the new year go?

I feel busy way too often and need to burrow myself somewhere to have good stablising quiet time with my Creator.

Take my heart, take my head, take my thoughts and take my dime. Jesus, all for You. Help me live. All for You.

23:53.

I can't wait to end this season, despite the fear and trembling abt the stepping out. But oh help me God when I jump off this ledge, eyes shut tightly yet seeing clearly and arms outstretched to fall in Yours...

Make this life a prayer to you, a song sung loud, a twirl of dance. Eyes fully focused, perspective totally tuned, it's all about You.

It's all about You.

15:34.




Get On Your Boots, the first single from U2's new album No Line On The Horizon, will be released as a digital download on February 15th with a physical format to follow on February 16 through Mercury/Universal (UK).

Produced by Brian Eno, Danny Lanois and Steve Lillywhite, sessions for No Line On The Horizon began in Fez, Morocco, and continued at the band's Dublin studio, New York's Platinum Sound Recording Studios, and London's Olympic Studios.

Released on March 2nd (March 3rd in the US), the album will come in a standard format with 24 page booklet and in digipak format. The digipak includes an extended booklet and the album's companion film "Linear" by Anton Corbijn. A limited edition 64 page magazine will also be available, featuring the band in conversation with artist Catherine Owens, and new Anton Corbijn photographs. No Line On The Horizon will be released on 180gm vinyl. (More on the formats below)

The album cover artwork is an image of the sea meeting the sky by Japanese artist and photographer Hiroshi Sugimoto.

Here's the full tracklisting:

1. No Line On The Horizon
2. Magnificent
3. Moment of Surrender
4. Unknown Caller
5. I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight
6. Get On Your Boots
7. Stand Up Comedy
8. Fez - Being Born
9. White As Snow
10. Breathe
11. Cedars Of Lebanon

No Line On The Horizon will be available in five formats;

- Standard jewel case - with album CD and 24 page booklet

- Digipak format - limited edition with album CD, 32 page colour booklet and fold out poster. Features access to exclusive downloadable Anton Corbijn film.

- Magazine format - limited edition with album CD, with 64 page magazine. Features access to exclusive downloadable Anton Corbijn film.

- Box format - limited edition bespoke box containing digipak format album CD, DVD of Anton Corbijn's exclusive film, 64 page hardback book, plus a fold out poster.

- LP vinyl - limited edition with 2 black vinyl discs, gatefold sleeve, and a 16 page booklet.

12:38.


I always loved it that Chinatown becomes such a blustery, vibrant, crowded, colourful, alive place during Chinese New Year. I may not actually go to the place. The last time I did must had been in 2004 when I returned from Melb (oh, tt was the time when 2 white boys tailed my friend and me and wanted to take photos with yours truly. rather... strange).

Still, maybe it's absence makes the heart grows fonder. Maybe it's that quaint trait that is happy just knowing something is there, though you may not use or visit it.

But yet.

When I got that emailer wth the pic, oh, such a sense of reminiscence descended.

Maybe it's the really busy work days and two in a row over 12-hour work days. Maybe it's that the last time I've been back was 3 months ago. Maybe it's the upcoming step out of the boat that's coming amidst the storm that sometimes seem entrapping, but gosh, I miss being home in Sg.

And just now, as I wallowed slightly in that feeling of entrapment, I felt You, Holy Spirit well up in me. I'm a free creation and never to be trapped. So though the storm is real and the rage is real, I choose to dwell as I am in You.

I'm free and amongst all that life throws, having 3 homes will not tie me up.

I bless Your Name. Hallelujah.

18:11.

New Year's Eve.

I tended for most of my life to favor the quiet NYE celebrations. No need for party hats and poppers. Just me and God, loved ones in the house and fireworks in the distance will be a nice touch.

I have a vague memory of when I was a little poppet, walking along with my parents and brothers near some of Singapore's myriad HDB estates because that was a spot where we were supposed to be able to catch fireworks.

This new year, we ambled out of a friend's terrace house in Klang onto the street after hearing those now familiar pops (KL seems to love fireworks at any occasion) and stared - shoulder to shoulder - at the fireworks gong off on our left and right.

They were lower, probably let off from someone's home, but still as glamourously mystical.

And as the last of the lights go off, we kissed and said happy new year before ambling back to the house to while the night away till 4am playing cards, making jokes and just enjoying good conversation.

Too bad we didn't get to go to the bak kut teh shop at 6am. That leaves me still without any klang bak kut teh experience in my life.

But this marks a most unexpected location for NYE and what a blast it was.

Happy new year, everyone.