17:44.

I just got back from a pastors fellowship where about 14 pastors from churches around a KL district gathered.

A colleague and myself were there to "promote" the two ministries we are serving - To extend invites to the launch of FCCI, which is launching in Malaysia on Sept 14 and to tell the pastors about WorldTeach and hand out our catalogues. We had a small slot of time so both plugs were fairly short.

Still, I did feel some nerves at the thought of having two informal and quite impromptu mini-presentations when the audience are pastors.

The last time, when I presented some stuff at our WorldTeachers' Mtg, there were prob five pastors and two elders present among around 14 or 15 attendees and God took care of my nerves very nicely. Kind folks that these pastors and all were, they gave me kind words at the end of it all when we were mingling too.

Just now though, I reckon I did less well. I'm not kicking myself, but next time, I do short presentations - big or small - I need to mental note myself not to pass out stuff before I'm done talking.

Once I got my colleague to pass out the materials just now about a minute into my er, "talk / spew/ er, words", it was like watching dominos fall - How the heads just went down to read the materials from the left to the right.

Golly.

Note to self, note to self, note to self.

God made the nerves suddenly disappear but once domino effect kicked in, I kind of got kicked off my flow. Did the job, but no, it wasn't my best one.

I have a lonng way to go, man. I need all the trial runs I get before the next step.

Makes me thankful really, that I have had these chances to try. I want more :)

We were supposed to just go to the pastors fellowship, do short presentations and then go but about two hours before we were due there, we suddenly were going to have lunch with them too. Then during the meeting itself, 'cause the hosting pastors said that the other pastors can ask us questions "later during fellowship", we felt obliged to stay till the end.

But despite the slight am-I-imposing-here feeling I had, at the end of it, I was really glad we stayed. The worship was a great time-out, the prayer was on fire and hearing some of the pastors share and update about their work was simply a privilege.

Hearing about conversion among the M a l a y s, hearing update about the L i n a J o y case, hearing about two female pastors work among the sexually broken (as is their church and their specific call).

One testimony stuck to me.

A pastor shared how he was at the mechanic's and his M a l a y mechanic (let's call him A) asked him what he does. He said he works in a church and A asked if he works full-time and wanted his namecard. When the latter saw the "pastor" on his namecard, he looked around, leaned over and whispered that he is a convert!

Now, they are good friends who meet up regularly.

This is what hit me: A - who is apparently from a prominent M a l a y family here - attends church regularly and he is DISAPPOINTED.

Disappointed 'cause he gave up his faith in I s l a m, went through hellfire and brimstone objections for... this? The watered down, non excited faith churches demonstrates?

He's going to start a church, he said, and placed on a signboard outside: "Here, we preach 100% Christianity".

Does that not make you feel ashamed? It did me.

We are so comfortable in our churches we no longer see the fiery, life-giving and changing nature of the Gospel that saved our souls. We heard these phrases so often that we are jaded and lost. Lost in church, how sad is that. We are lost with our feet firmly planted at the pews, with languishing eyes and heart, stuck in the struggles of the mill....

Imagine how a M a l a y feels when he goes to our church and see our golly, "excitement". Imagine how he or she feels in our CGs, when we share about what often sounds like very defeated lives.

I feel rather chastised and yes, embarassed. 'cause I know we are ALL meant to live more empowered lives than we know now. And I type this in earnest belief, not up-down but sincerely.

The other week, Ray and I attended the night sessions for a conference at here. Nick Reese and Danny Gug from Adelaide were key speakers.

First night we went - Ps Nick preached right to my spirit.

"Stuck In A Moment" was his sermon's name. Here's the two things that make you get stuck in a moment.

First up is Past Disappointments. No surprises there.

But next up is Past Successes. And in that moment of divine clarity, I see my attachment to Melb clearly. Loving the land and people and life are real factors, yes but see - There I had a moment, I was perfectly in the right place at the right time and I was moving with God fluidly, serving the Body cheerfully, having sweet fellowship in the House of God... to me, that's success, not the high-flying journo or corporate world. That's good mentality but see, it's not good if I get stuck in that moment of success.

That's one reason, honest. And I've moved out in obedience and moved again from Sg to Msia in obedience but as I wait for my next level, it can get so mundane and unexciting that I look back to the land I left where I lived success.

Sounds familiar?

I refuse to do that any more. I've said so before and again, I declare my allegiance to the Almighty and my Spirit-empowered resolve to let it go.

And I know I'm not the only one who needs to do this so come on, you know who you are.

We are meant to live adventures. Every day is part of this adventure. But you know, even Neo or Indiana Jones had periods where they were just walking, spent sleeping, nothing particularly unusual or exciting... but it's part of the adventure.

Just don't give up on it.

And rem the testimony of our M a l a y brother - And live lives that shout His Name. Louder. Clearly. And ever more Larger.