Friday, December 01, 2006

11:09.

Greetings, December.
How've you been? Last time I saw you, we were in Oz.
You blew hot and cold but held us tight.
Me and my love, under your bright blue skies.


And yes, the end of the year is coming around again.

At DUMC, my church here, 2006 has been - or rather is - the year of building Faith. That that mirrors my own journey this year is more than coincidence.

Last December, I coolly spent SGD3000 on an almost month-long holiday, no sweat. Last weekend, I was walking around Singapore with SGD5 in my wallet, reluctant to take out any money from the bank account with a grand total of two-digit.

Last year, I was in the leadership class in church at Sg and playing in the band, praying for Ray every day in his involvement with Planet Shakers and Planet Uni in Melb, and really wanting to be with him to support him.

This year, I've been in a great cell group for about five months and serving on the church newsletter. Opportunities to serve in various para-church organisations and ministries abound and I'm proud of my baby who's stepping up to assistant cell group leader come next Friday as the cell group multiplies.

I'm going to have to be diligent and chronicle and give thanks for the very real, very deeply-driven-in lessons of 2006 over this last month but those will prob be better bite-sized and spread out.

One big thing though - I will be leaving WorldTeach :)

I don't know exactly when yet but it's quite definite. I've already told my chairman how I feel and my reasons and it has been very encouraging how he completely understands.

The Reason is multi-pronged and has been cuminating in clarity intensely over the last two months but to sum it out:

- I've already done all I can as a media consultant. Unless the ministry moves at a very rapid pace organising seminars much more regularly, honestly, there's not enough any more to keep me even half busy.

- At the end of the day, I want to be effective for Christ. The Christian politician in an industry of grime could be more effective for God than a full-time worker plodding on for 30 years, unwittingly becoming relevant only to people like him or herself. Talents can't be buried, they are God-given.

- I'm understanding that between the command to quit TNP to that place where I'm in my specific calling - I'm not called to limit my choices and that, that specific calling won't be in a para-church organisation but in a church.

I thank God for how He has been showing me things progressively.

He led me to understand those three points before my last trip back to Singapore and the day before I left, I had an unplanned talk with the chairman and told him how I feel.

Then when I came back, on Tuesday, some things about para church organisations and churches and my sentiments towards them dawned upon me with Eureka moments.

On Wednesday, he asked me to his office to discuss about the ministry and whether things are clearer for me and I shared with him how I felt, including the new relevations as we also discussed the ministry's future.

I'm glad I didn't realise how financially bad I'm doing until after I made it clear to the boss, ray and myself that I don't think this is where I can be most effective for God any more. God's good - He knows I question myself regularly and chronological relevations and realisations help keep those doubts out.

I'll share more as we go along, ya? :) Pls pray about the next step - Singapore or Malaysia? Whether to commit to a new lease hinges on this and hinges too on providence (if it's Msia, job offers from companies able to sponsor a visa). I'm also giving lots of thought as to what kind of profession I want to be in next.

Lots of things still up in the air. I'm awaiting the next chronological relevation.

"I was on the inside
When they pulled the
four walls down
I was looking through
the window
I was lost, I am found
... I will follow"

3 comments:

raychuah said...

hang in there, love. its the season of a transition into 2007. God's faithful to hold us tight :)

Incognito said...

*hug* Praying for you, hon.

sg girl said...

*hugs* back to aggie. thankies, both :)