19:53.

"It was said this man was of no reputation
Yet He could stop the rising storm
With a gesture of His hand
But He chose to use His hands to heal
Hearts of darkness, hearts of stone
Just like mine would be revealed

He was a man of no reputation
And by the wise, considered a fool
When He spoke about faith and forgiveness
In a time when the strongest arms ruled

But this man of no reputation
Loved the weak with relentless affection
And He loved all those poor in spirit just as they were
He was a man of no reputation

It was said this man brought only confusion
That He'd achieve his ends by any means
And the truth that it brings revolution
And for once they were right
The truth set us free

The hearts of the captive were his only concern
And the powerful knew their days were ending

He was a man of no reputation
And by the wise, considered a fool
When He spoke about faith and forgiveness
In a time when the strongest arms ruled

But this man of no reputation
Loved the weak with relentless affection
And He loved all those poor in spirit just as they were
He was a man of no reputation

One day soon the gates of heaven will open wide
And the Prince of Peace will come back for His bride
But for now we live on these streets
Forbidding and tough

Where push always comes to shove
And it's said love's never enough
Where a prophet in rags gives hope to a fearful world
No injustice, no heart of darkness
Will keep this voice from being heard

He was a man of no reputation
And by the wise, considered a fool
When He spoke about faith and forgiveness
In a time when the strongest arms ruled

But this man of no reputation
Loves us all with relentless affection
And He loves all those poor in spirit, come as you are
To the man of no reputation"

- Man Of No Reputation, Rich Mullins

And it was like I could not stop myself from crying.
Start stop. Start stop.
Again, Lord, again.
Nothing else matters except You.
And no one can pull me through this except You.
Because You are, I can.
I. can. do. all. things. through. Christ. who. strengthens. me.
With Christ in the vessel, I can smile at the storm.


"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." - 2 Cor 4:8 - 10


I wish I have the ability to express truly how every thing is for me; I can't. It's not all gloom and blah, no sir. But yes, sometimes it really feels like I am the cut down in Kill Bill Vol 1's Jap house scene; one of the fallen, cut limb spewing blood and me writhing on the wooden floor.


Then, me being me, I look at the stump and laugh at the ludicrous scene.


See, the pain is real. And the truth is only God knows. But the truth too is this - My God can breathe life into dead and dry bones. He can rise the dead. And indeed, even as I bleed, I know He can stop the fount of my pain with the fount of every blessing.


I'm walking on in my Jesus. I know who I am in You.


And I remain thankful.


'cause You are.


And that means I am, and can indeed do all things through You.


I love You, Lord.