12:19.

A piece from Charisma & Christian Life about Christian artiste Nicole Mullen. It is really just a profile. Nicely written and professionally executed with quality. The type of profiles on the "type" of persons I like to do.

The last two days, I've been resisting the blahs. We are working on this visa for me which requires the Singapore regional office to hire me and send me over. Sg would have to pay my CPF and when I did the calculations yesterday and see my earnings in SGD, I guess it felt a bit... hard. Like I told R a y the other day, I wonder when I would again be able to afford a holiday like I did last Dec when I took an almost month long Melb trip which cost about SGD2500 all in all, and went back to work for just a few days before I receive a monthly pay check that covered all the expenses. It's just a bit hard, thinking about moolah.

But I resist. I resist feeling insecure just because my coffers are not overflowing - Let the poor say I'm rich. I resist feeling helpless because I'm not sure of my finance - and subsequently career - future - Let the weak say I'm strong. I resist little niggling voices that says to jump back into the river I got out of not too long ago because He who called me is faithful to complete the work He started in me.

I will press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of me. (Phil 3:12)

Last Saturday (We attend the Sat service instead of the Sun's), the worship leader led this old song. It was from the Integrity/ Hosanna album In Christ Alone - another song which strikes to the core of me - and titled We'll Be Faithful.

"Forgetting what lies behind
Setting our hearts on the prize
Always keeping our eyes on our Lord Jesus
We are running this race to win
All the way to the end
Laying down every sin that seek to hinder us

And we'll be faithful!
To our calling
For You are able to keep us from falling
And in Your Promise we will run
You'll be faithful to finish the work you began in us."

Just typing out the lyrics by memory has the ability to bring forth tears.

I remember back in poly's campus crusade days, my Bible Study leader, Ruth told me that her room mate, another full-time worker, Kathy brings out her guitar and sing that song whenever she's discouraged.

The song has remained one of those songs I sung over the years to encourage myself and remind myself of my purpose, my call, of how my God is faithful, has called me and I want to be faithful and run this race and run it well.

My current church, DUMC has been doing a series on the book of Phillipians and I'm loving how relevant and wide the book is. Every time I read a passage, I gain more understanding and I'm reading the same passage over and over again and finding comfort, vigour and renewal at the same time.

It's already midyear. In two weeks time, it would have been three months since I started this new career. I think I'm still adapting, still understanding the magnitude of such a decision's effects and consequences.

I'm going back to Singapore on Sat and a small part of me is tempted to take the full two or three weeks of work-from-home instead of the one week I'm taking. But I resist because I know my calling now is Malaysia and so I. will. not. be. moved.

Jesus!

Deliver me from my troubles, rescue me from my foes, silent the enemy and shut up the dogs that surround me. Keep their traps shut for their words are foul and against You. Out of the goodness of Your Name, save your servant. I will trust in Your Name for Your Name is good.

Jesus. I'm Yours.

And help me Lord as my desire echos Apostle Paul's. Though my flesh is weak, You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all I can ever ask or think of. I thank You. Thank You because You are always able, always ready and always full of love and faithfulness. Thank You because "You prepare a feast for me in front of my enemies!". Thank You because You have plans to prosper me, to give me hope and a future.

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

May that be what I do and always do.

Amen.

For the Glory Lord is Yours.