16:23.

It's strange to know how much the elitist from my educational upbringing seems embedded somewhere inside very deeply. And it's further strange how it could even have sprung forth when my real upbringing is humble in every and any sense.

But starting from acing Lit, strengthened and grown from Mass Comm admitance and performance, fed and led from that early journalism career despite my real humble beginnings, I think there's simply a little girl inside who believed more than she should in her own elitism when elitism is but hogwash really.

And it's at the strangest times when it comes out - A strong pride that I can't always distinguish. When is it a natural acceptable reaction to the illogical and when is it a green-eyed goblin, defensive, would-be superior and fighting for its tuft?

How Singaporean is that word and behaviour - Elitism. How intricately related to my past living. 'cause well, it was part of life. That we weren't the ee, r a f f l es schools type of elite. We were the street-smart, creative, trailblazers elites.

Oh Lord, help me discern, help me discern please. Let what must die die indeed. Yet let me be able to see clearly the tangled heartstrings so I don't kill what needs to live to build a unique called living being uniquely shaped to fit a specific hole in this society.

Hold my heart.