12:50.

This time last year, I was in the old news building at Genting Lane, sent there with a small passel of colleagues in some Sars contingency plan. Rotating or fluctuating between a-change-of-environment-is-good and argh-i-have-been-banished-and-will-never-get-confirmed-this-way.

Then, in between then and now, I've lived my journalist childhood ambition, dealt with politics, spent the year as an economically independent adult, enjoyed a truly good year actually, and then followed as God opened the way to come here. To leave behind the material world I have embraced and come here. To be a student again and to rest. And live in a different manner, to find and see and learn new things.

What a difference every year brings. And have I not yearned for this difference? Seeked for changes? Thirst for more?

Then this is what I want. This scared-to-death-but-I-will-step-out-of-the-boat feeling, this start-breathing-my-heart-is-beating-too-fast-while-my-hands-are-cold nerves. If people can jump out of an airplane for thrill, if people can do every thing they do for self-gratification, then I can do this for God.

Come on girl, get your act together. God is made stronger in your weakness, nothing can get you down if the ALMIGHTY is with you. As I've desired, so You have provided. As You have promised, I will deliver.

I love you, Lord.

More than life.

I really do.