12:20.
Bono and Boone and Billy.
Monday, June 27, 2005
12:03.
I started replying this something like 3 weeks or more ago but didn't finish it. Oops.
1 - Total amount of music files on your computer?
I'm at work now so I am just going to have to estimate how many files my lappie back home has. I'm going to say probably close to 3,000.
2 - The last CD you bought was?
Last CD I received for work was The Tears' Here Comes The Tears. Last CD I purchased with my own money was Bright Eyes' I'm Wide Awake It's Morning
3 - What is the song you last listened to before reading this message? Last night, the last Mp3 I remember hearing was Fastball's version of She's So High.
4 - Write down 5 songs that mean a lot to you and why. I go through phases when I listen to certain songs. There are few songs that are constant throughout my life but ok, here are some that have lasted with me for quite a while. These are NOT my Top 5. If you ask me for them, I'd have to spend sleepless nights thinking it through. So don't ask.
- Walk On, U2
"and I know it aches and your heart it breaks, you can only take so much but walk on". Familiar feelings.
- You Belong To Me, Vonda Shepherd version
It's beautiful, paints images of the world and love, Bob Dylan is an amazing songwriter and I still like Ally McBeal.
[I have the Bob Dylan, Tori Amos, Jason Wade versions too]
- Fly Me To The Moon
I used to listen to the Frank Sinatra version. Now I listen to Tony Bennett's more. Something inside has always desired to fly and at times, to fly away. I first heard the Bennett version on the last night I had in Melbourne during my last stay. Everyone was outside, I was surfing on Ray's lappie and the version was so stunning I was enraptured.
- We Will Dance, Steven Curtis Chapman
It's our song :)
- If I Stand, Rich Mullins
Brilliant song.
"So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep, let it be as a [wo[man
Who is longing for [her] home"
5 - Who are you going to pass this stick to and why?
I plead online hermitdom again.
I started replying this something like 3 weeks or more ago but didn't finish it. Oops.
1 - Total amount of music files on your computer?
I'm at work now so I am just going to have to estimate how many files my lappie back home has. I'm going to say probably close to 3,000.
2 - The last CD you bought was?
Last CD I received for work was The Tears' Here Comes The Tears. Last CD I purchased with my own money was Bright Eyes' I'm Wide Awake It's Morning
3 - What is the song you last listened to before reading this message? Last night, the last Mp3 I remember hearing was Fastball's version of She's So High.
4 - Write down 5 songs that mean a lot to you and why. I go through phases when I listen to certain songs. There are few songs that are constant throughout my life but ok, here are some that have lasted with me for quite a while. These are NOT my Top 5. If you ask me for them, I'd have to spend sleepless nights thinking it through. So don't ask.
- Walk On, U2
"and I know it aches and your heart it breaks, you can only take so much but walk on". Familiar feelings.
- You Belong To Me, Vonda Shepherd version
It's beautiful, paints images of the world and love, Bob Dylan is an amazing songwriter and I still like Ally McBeal.
[I have the Bob Dylan, Tori Amos, Jason Wade versions too]
- Fly Me To The Moon
I used to listen to the Frank Sinatra version. Now I listen to Tony Bennett's more. Something inside has always desired to fly and at times, to fly away. I first heard the Bennett version on the last night I had in Melbourne during my last stay. Everyone was outside, I was surfing on Ray's lappie and the version was so stunning I was enraptured.
- We Will Dance, Steven Curtis Chapman
It's our song :)
- If I Stand, Rich Mullins
Brilliant song.
"So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep, let it be as a [wo[man
Who is longing for [her] home"
5 - Who are you going to pass this stick to and why?
I plead online hermitdom again.
Friday, June 24, 2005
12:16.
Not ashamed.
Those two words have been in my head for close to a week now. Maybe five days? Somewhere around there.
Not ashamed.
Not ashamed to declare to the world that I'm in love. Not ashamed to call my man my boyfriend and be affectionate. Not ashamed of what we have.
"How the mighty have fallen" - I've heard this phrase a couple of times from close friends. They were describing me, how I have truly completely fallen for you, soppy, emo and all.
How the mighty have fallen. And I'm not ashamed of it.
We were careful in our love, in the road we took to get here where we are. We are still prudent, knowing there are lines, but maybe I'm just that bit reckless now.
I'm not keeping quiet, just in case I get hurt. Fear should not be part of this. I'm not staying silent, in case people see this un-me side of me and deem me weak. Pride (the wrong type) should not be part of we. I'm not keeping it in.
I want to shout it out from the rooftops.
'cause our God rocks. you rocks. we rock.
Not ashamed.
Those two words have been in my head for close to a week now. Maybe five days? Somewhere around there.
Not ashamed.
Not ashamed to declare to the world that I'm in love. Not ashamed to call my man my boyfriend and be affectionate. Not ashamed of what we have.
"How the mighty have fallen" - I've heard this phrase a couple of times from close friends. They were describing me, how I have truly completely fallen for you, soppy, emo and all.
How the mighty have fallen. And I'm not ashamed of it.
We were careful in our love, in the road we took to get here where we are. We are still prudent, knowing there are lines, but maybe I'm just that bit reckless now.
I'm not keeping quiet, just in case I get hurt. Fear should not be part of this. I'm not staying silent, in case people see this un-me side of me and deem me weak. Pride (the wrong type) should not be part of we. I'm not keeping it in.
I want to shout it out from the rooftops.
'cause our God rocks. you rocks. we rock.
Monday, June 20, 2005
18:36.
It's back to the Sg. Back in the media conglomerate. Blogging from my black IBM PC.
Thinking of you. Of us. Of wow.
I remember: In January this year, sat on my blue futon in my bedroom in Melbourne. The housemates had gone back, here. You just left my apartment. And me, alone with God, sobbed my heart out. I had laid you down before God before, prior to that. I had tried and kept trying, but that night, with wrenching sobs and a heart that physically ached, I completely laid down how I feel, I laid down you, on the altar.
I never cried over a guy before.
Before you.
I remember: February 2005. Walking away from you on Feb 5. Missing you terribly every single day. I remember crying myself to sleep on Feb 6th. After bursting into tears over our Msn conversation.
I remember our conversations, I remember when we first came clean with how we feel, I remember the torment over the long period when we didn't and I remember the torment over being apart even after we knew where we stood and now stand.
It wasn't an easy road. We had to walk a tightrope, a thin line that we could only walk with faith and trust and much prayer. But I would never swop any of it.
Because you are worth it.
And because I've never felt the way I do for you for any one else before.
God has turned our mourning into dancing, our tears into laughter. Everything that has happened was so for a purpose. Our journey took its time with the milestones because we needed time.
We had to face how we feel as individuals before we knew our feelings were mutual. We had to have every event put into our paths to mould us. We had to be tested, to know what we want, to know each other better, to have our hearts put on the altar for the refining fire. We had to - and still do so have to - give each other to God again and again because ultimately, dear, He owns us and He is No. 1. Our first Love.
"I've watched the sunrise in your eyes
And I've seen the tears fall like the rain
You've seen me fight so brave and strong
You've held my hand when I'm afraid
We've watched the seasons come and go
We'll see them come and go again
But in winter's chill, or summer's breeze
One thing will not be changin'
We will dance"
That's our song. The song that played on the car's CD player when you parked on a wintry cold June 19th at Melbourne Airport, the song that was playing when I cried for that short few minutes after you parked, as we hugged a mere hour plus away from the second goodbye we had to say.
I remember: June 15th. When, somewhere in the last hour of that Wednesday night, we finally had a status. We moved from courtship to relationship. We became a couple. Before that, we watched our first movie together after ahem, Metalica: Some Kind Of Monster, the only other movie we watched together before (I do still think that makes us unique, heh).
Putting my head on your shoulder made my heart skip a few beats.
You still make my heart skip.
Six months. That's the period that we have to face before we meet again.
But I'm not worried. The foundations have been laid. Unless The Lord builds the house, the workers labour in vain. We feel right, you feel right, and I know God is in our relationship. Our Saviour and Maker is the reason why this feels right and as we honour Him still, and love Him ever more, He will take care of the details. That's the key. God.
It's always God.
Dearest God and Dad, You take charge of this. You lead us, guide us, mould us, teach us to love You and love each other the way Love and a relationship are meant to be lived. We refuse to do this any other way. We want You to be the Head of us.
The foundations - seek Him first, love Him most, wanting the best for each other, wanting us to glorify Jesus always - are laid even as we are learning over this distance, over time to be better for each other.
I will hold on, other guys don't matter. The tears you have shed for me makes me even more sure of you, and more thankful for you even as I am amazed by you.
I will hold on and learn to be even more a woman of God.
'cause you deserve the best.
Yes, just like I deserve the best. I love seeing how God is further bringing you to new heights and places.
And R a y m o n d Chuah?
I love you.
It's back to the Sg. Back in the media conglomerate. Blogging from my black IBM PC.
Thinking of you. Of us. Of wow.
I remember: In January this year, sat on my blue futon in my bedroom in Melbourne. The housemates had gone back, here. You just left my apartment. And me, alone with God, sobbed my heart out. I had laid you down before God before, prior to that. I had tried and kept trying, but that night, with wrenching sobs and a heart that physically ached, I completely laid down how I feel, I laid down you, on the altar.
I never cried over a guy before.
Before you.
I remember: February 2005. Walking away from you on Feb 5. Missing you terribly every single day. I remember crying myself to sleep on Feb 6th. After bursting into tears over our Msn conversation.
I remember our conversations, I remember when we first came clean with how we feel, I remember the torment over the long period when we didn't and I remember the torment over being apart even after we knew where we stood and now stand.
It wasn't an easy road. We had to walk a tightrope, a thin line that we could only walk with faith and trust and much prayer. But I would never swop any of it.
Because you are worth it.
And because I've never felt the way I do for you for any one else before.
God has turned our mourning into dancing, our tears into laughter. Everything that has happened was so for a purpose. Our journey took its time with the milestones because we needed time.
We had to face how we feel as individuals before we knew our feelings were mutual. We had to have every event put into our paths to mould us. We had to be tested, to know what we want, to know each other better, to have our hearts put on the altar for the refining fire. We had to - and still do so have to - give each other to God again and again because ultimately, dear, He owns us and He is No. 1. Our first Love.
"I've watched the sunrise in your eyes
And I've seen the tears fall like the rain
You've seen me fight so brave and strong
You've held my hand when I'm afraid
We've watched the seasons come and go
We'll see them come and go again
But in winter's chill, or summer's breeze
One thing will not be changin'
We will dance"
That's our song. The song that played on the car's CD player when you parked on a wintry cold June 19th at Melbourne Airport, the song that was playing when I cried for that short few minutes after you parked, as we hugged a mere hour plus away from the second goodbye we had to say.
I remember: June 15th. When, somewhere in the last hour of that Wednesday night, we finally had a status. We moved from courtship to relationship. We became a couple. Before that, we watched our first movie together after ahem, Metalica: Some Kind Of Monster, the only other movie we watched together before (I do still think that makes us unique, heh).
Putting my head on your shoulder made my heart skip a few beats.
You still make my heart skip.
Six months. That's the period that we have to face before we meet again.
But I'm not worried. The foundations have been laid. Unless The Lord builds the house, the workers labour in vain. We feel right, you feel right, and I know God is in our relationship. Our Saviour and Maker is the reason why this feels right and as we honour Him still, and love Him ever more, He will take care of the details. That's the key. God.
It's always God.
Dearest God and Dad, You take charge of this. You lead us, guide us, mould us, teach us to love You and love each other the way Love and a relationship are meant to be lived. We refuse to do this any other way. We want You to be the Head of us.
The foundations - seek Him first, love Him most, wanting the best for each other, wanting us to glorify Jesus always - are laid even as we are learning over this distance, over time to be better for each other.
I will hold on, other guys don't matter. The tears you have shed for me makes me even more sure of you, and more thankful for you even as I am amazed by you.
I will hold on and learn to be even more a woman of God.
'cause you deserve the best.
Yes, just like I deserve the best. I love seeing how God is further bringing you to new heights and places.
And R a y m o n d Chuah?
I love you.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Monday, June 06, 2005
19:31, Sg, office.
Flight details are settled.
June 7, 2030, Sg to Syd.
June 10, 1815, Syd to Melb.
June 19, 1010, Melb to Sg.
Now, it's just making sure every loose end is tied. Work is accounted for and am loading up on the research. I know my Marvel, I don't know my 20th century Fox... yet.
Been in the office since 830. Am needing sleep. Filed two stories today. Would be filing two stories on Fantastic Four in Sydney, and hopefully one story on The Tears (phoner on Thurs) if I can get the phoner to be a call-in instead of a call-out.
Wanted to grab mocha from the cafeteria just now but decided to abstain. I would be getting good mocha in just a while, no? :)
Ran errands in Orchard during my lunch break and found the MRT station adorned with floor to ceiling, left to right all across type posters promoting Melbourne as the 2006 Commonwealth games, as part of the Visit Australia tourism campaign.
If I saw this last Thursday, I would had went "argh" (a small one) inside or even verbally but just now, I could smile. I snapped a pic of it with my phone and went on my way.
Can't wait.
Do pray :)
That work would be completely great, and that the trip to Melb would be great too.
Come on, God.
I LOVEE You!
Flight details are settled.
June 7, 2030, Sg to Syd.
June 10, 1815, Syd to Melb.
June 19, 1010, Melb to Sg.
Now, it's just making sure every loose end is tied. Work is accounted for and am loading up on the research. I know my Marvel, I don't know my 20th century Fox... yet.
Been in the office since 830. Am needing sleep. Filed two stories today. Would be filing two stories on Fantastic Four in Sydney, and hopefully one story on The Tears (phoner on Thurs) if I can get the phoner to be a call-in instead of a call-out.
Wanted to grab mocha from the cafeteria just now but decided to abstain. I would be getting good mocha in just a while, no? :)
Ran errands in Orchard during my lunch break and found the MRT station adorned with floor to ceiling, left to right all across type posters promoting Melbourne as the 2006 Commonwealth games, as part of the Visit Australia tourism campaign.
If I saw this last Thursday, I would had went "argh" (a small one) inside or even verbally but just now, I could smile. I snapped a pic of it with my phone and went on my way.
Can't wait.
Do pray :)
That work would be completely great, and that the trip to Melb would be great too.
Come on, God.
I LOVEE You!
Saturday, June 04, 2005
18:58.
It has been a long time since I can click on weather.com with the knowledge that the info I seek would be applicable on an actual, practical level.
It is 120 today.
120 days since I left Melb.
And I'm going back next week. :)
Can I tell you how mind baffling good God is?
Just on Wednesday, I was telling Ray about how a correspondent was going around the office asking some folks what they know about Fantastic Four. Me, since I came back, have buried my nose into X-Men, Amazing Spiderman and Fantastic Four. Hey, I even just finished reading a collection on Tuesday night. I told the correspondent I read FF and in fact, can tell him their history, love lives and all that but one rule in the newsroom is that temps don't go on junketts.
He basically told me, sorry dear. But I msged my supe and just said the same things I told him, adding that I do understand if I don't get it but yeah, I know my stuff for sure.
And on Friday 12-ish, she called me and told me the executive editor approved it.
I got the junkett.
A trip to Sydney for the Fantastic Four premiere this side of the world.
Despite being still on contract. Despite having only been back in the newsroom for about 2 and a half months.
The exact details are being ironed out but I should be flying out on Tues night, reaching Sydney on Wed morn, and by Fri, the FF work should be wrapped up. I'd wander around Sydney for a while, buy krispy kremes, and then catch my one-hour flight to Melbourne.
:)
And there I would stay until the 18th or 19th.
I am still in shock, awe, bafflement, amazement.
I never expected to be able to go back so soon. Sept was the set date for my hol back, a far-off month that I steadily plod towards on a course I try to keep straight.
And now....
God is using 20th Century Fox to bring about his will.
I reckon that's darn cool.
My mind hasn't totally understood this. How He just flinged wide the doors and exceeded my expectations.
I'm going back to Aust, and the company is paying my trip to and fro.
And on the work front, I am feeling adult and all journo at this first proper overseas assignment.
This time next week and this time next fortnight, I would be in Melb.
Those people I have missed will be on hand to hug and observe, not a name on Msn, or a voice on the phone or photos or memories.
The streets I have longed to walk down again, I would be able to.
The places to have coffee and dine at, I can frequent again.
The air, wintry now.
The window seat, I hope it's still there.
The drumset.
The wide(r) open spaces.
Vic Mkt.
Safeway.
RMIT.
CCBC.
JB Hifi.
Trams and Flinders St. State library and Melb Central.
Horses and carriages.
Good mocha. Vienna coffee. brekkie.
Church!
I tried to tell God today everything on my mind and I couldn't. I sat in some awe and much thankfulness and I sung along to worship songs playing from my lappie and just felt overwhelmed.
I tried to write down how I feel and again I couldn't. I keep looking up at nothing in particular and have random thoughts run through my mind.
What would it be like?
How would I feel?
How would it be like?
What changes would there be?
How would I react?
What would I do?
Would I be too cold? (hah)
How would it be like.
How would it be like.
YOU have taken us this far Lord. YOU have taken me this far. Thank You for trusting me, for loving me, for giving me exceedingly, abundantly above what I could imagine. Thank You for blowing my mind. I want to love You so much more. Even as I want to see Your work in my life.
More. Evermore.
And it's just six days more.
It has been a long time since I can click on weather.com with the knowledge that the info I seek would be applicable on an actual, practical level.
It is 120 today.
120 days since I left Melb.
And I'm going back next week. :)
Can I tell you how mind baffling good God is?
Just on Wednesday, I was telling Ray about how a correspondent was going around the office asking some folks what they know about Fantastic Four. Me, since I came back, have buried my nose into X-Men, Amazing Spiderman and Fantastic Four. Hey, I even just finished reading a collection on Tuesday night. I told the correspondent I read FF and in fact, can tell him their history, love lives and all that but one rule in the newsroom is that temps don't go on junketts.
He basically told me, sorry dear. But I msged my supe and just said the same things I told him, adding that I do understand if I don't get it but yeah, I know my stuff for sure.
And on Friday 12-ish, she called me and told me the executive editor approved it.
I got the junkett.
A trip to Sydney for the Fantastic Four premiere this side of the world.
Despite being still on contract. Despite having only been back in the newsroom for about 2 and a half months.
The exact details are being ironed out but I should be flying out on Tues night, reaching Sydney on Wed morn, and by Fri, the FF work should be wrapped up. I'd wander around Sydney for a while, buy krispy kremes, and then catch my one-hour flight to Melbourne.
:)
And there I would stay until the 18th or 19th.
I am still in shock, awe, bafflement, amazement.
I never expected to be able to go back so soon. Sept was the set date for my hol back, a far-off month that I steadily plod towards on a course I try to keep straight.
And now....
God is using 20th Century Fox to bring about his will.
I reckon that's darn cool.
My mind hasn't totally understood this. How He just flinged wide the doors and exceeded my expectations.
I'm going back to Aust, and the company is paying my trip to and fro.
And on the work front, I am feeling adult and all journo at this first proper overseas assignment.
This time next week and this time next fortnight, I would be in Melb.
Those people I have missed will be on hand to hug and observe, not a name on Msn, or a voice on the phone or photos or memories.
The streets I have longed to walk down again, I would be able to.
The places to have coffee and dine at, I can frequent again.
The air, wintry now.
The window seat, I hope it's still there.
The drumset.
The wide(r) open spaces.
Vic Mkt.
Safeway.
RMIT.
CCBC.
JB Hifi.
Trams and Flinders St. State library and Melb Central.
Horses and carriages.
Good mocha. Vienna coffee. brekkie.
Church!
I tried to tell God today everything on my mind and I couldn't. I sat in some awe and much thankfulness and I sung along to worship songs playing from my lappie and just felt overwhelmed.
I tried to write down how I feel and again I couldn't. I keep looking up at nothing in particular and have random thoughts run through my mind.
What would it be like?
How would I feel?
How would it be like?
What changes would there be?
How would I react?
What would I do?
Would I be too cold? (hah)
How would it be like.
How would it be like.
YOU have taken us this far Lord. YOU have taken me this far. Thank You for trusting me, for loving me, for giving me exceedingly, abundantly above what I could imagine. Thank You for blowing my mind. I want to love You so much more. Even as I want to see Your work in my life.
More. Evermore.
And it's just six days more.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
11:49.
I read through one whole issue of Spider Man Blue last night, and for some reason, the comic's tragedy stays in my head. I couldn't remember so I went to ask my brother how Gwen Stacy died. And I remembered the set up. Was she dead before she fell or did she die because he couldn't catch her? How painful a premise. How evermore haunted a superhero is our Spidey because of this. How sad, but better that there's a tale to write a story than for there to never had been any thing. But yes, it's so... blue.
I read through one whole issue of Spider Man Blue last night, and for some reason, the comic's tragedy stays in my head. I couldn't remember so I went to ask my brother how Gwen Stacy died. And I remembered the set up. Was she dead before she fell or did she die because he couldn't catch her? How painful a premise. How evermore haunted a superhero is our Spidey because of this. How sad, but better that there's a tale to write a story than for there to never had been any thing. But yes, it's so... blue.
