01:00.

Over here, the world is blue at 726pm.

Blue with orange street lights scattering a soft dusty glow.

Blue like that envelope.

And yes, blue like we sometimes get.

As blue as every song sung and the emotion every songwriter languishes over.

As blue as... Smurfs.

Hah.

It is the first of March.

I meant to write this on the 28th of February but was caught up chatting.

Officially now, ladies and gentlemen, it was last month that I left Melbourne. On QF 9 on the 1710 flight to London, transit Singapore.

Come a few more days, specifically when the 5th strides around, I would be able to say that it has been a month since I left.

Do I still miss Melbourne?

Heck, yes, I do.

Over the weekend, on both days, there were moments when I crawled onto my bed and slept 'cause I didn't want to think. Or 'cause the thinking got too much.

Thinking, Missing - the two are still rather entwined within me at the moment.

But how am I?

I am good. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, even when I had days I won't classify as good or burst into tears during an Msn convo, I can say it is well with my soul.

And truth is, I am well. Despite the missing. Despite bad days. I am more than well.

I am good.

If God used Melb and its people to teach me to love and give in a capacity I never knew, again, leaving this place and people I love is teaching me a capacity to miss which I never knew I had.

So again, I am amazed. The realisation is painful, sure, but all things work together for good. And the truth is, I really have a lot to give thanks for. And the truth is, I know things are happening. And the truth is, God is good.

And I am doing good.

God is still so real.

I love my friends and touching base with them again.

I'm back in the music ministry, helping to check through our song book for accurancy, and slotted for keyboard, drums and for the first time ever, guitar duty this month.

Last Friday, I went for prayer meeting and prayed my heart out. Probably surprised people to have someone pretty much shouting - or praying really loudly - in real desperation but it's cool.

God is still so real.

Two, three hours sessions of praying, worshipping, journaling and reflecting and reading the Word have been a staple.

As much a staple as the Missing, which I don't believe in skimming over out of convenience.

Continued with the organising/ cleaning/ tidying up my room today. So many memories continued in semi-messy clusters round and about this about 3-by-3-metres room. From the cutest hair clips, many bundles of ribbons for my hair as a child, to receipts and memorabilia from my first mission trip to Msia in 1999, some health check form from the same year (I was once 18??), to offer letters from Mass Comm, from S P H, from my first company, to all the clippings of bylines and work.

The other day, I organised paperwork into files. I have a file for banks transactions statements, one for insurance, one for CPF and medisave and all that, one for get this, taxes, even though I have never made enough money per annum to actually be taxed yet. Being organised about these things... kind of feel... adult. How strange all these in such real ways too.

So many things around, so many memories, so many things which I had to decide to be clinical about and throw out (did I ever mention I filled up two big trash can sized bigs, u knw the black type, of clothes to give away?).

For some reason, I feel so... new now.

And that sounds weird, I know. And I can't quite put my finger or word processor on it, that feeling of new-ness, but it is there.

All things must pass away except the things of God....

His mercies are new every morning....

His love and mercy pursues me....

Knowing that I am in the arms of a loving God who is so close is why I have not imploded or expired.

3,500 miles is not too large a distance to contain my God.

Uncertainty about my future is not strong enough to overcome my Jesus.

My weaknesses do help me see how strong I can be through Him and in Him.

God is doing something in my life and I am just going to be putting one feet in front of the other, keeping my head up like the child of the King I am, praying, interceding, worshipping with my life, seeking to live for Him and through Him, and just loving.

It's all going to be okay.

It's all going to be more than okay.

And today, I am hitting that top shelf of my Ikea bookshelf where all the photo albums are. Gosh, how did You bring me through all that, Lord?

And yet You did and will do so again.

So yet will I praise You. Because You deserve to be so, over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Always.

Always.