11:02.

Dad,

You spoke to Moses like a friend.
You showed up, face to face.
You drew near, taking on human-ness and discarding divinity so You could communicate with us and commit the baffling deed of dei-cide (deity-suicide) so we could be close.
You appeared to Your disciples, Mary and those who followed You.
You appeared to Saul and turned him into Paul, on that road to Damascus.
You are the same yesterday, today and for every one of my tomorrows and after that.
You are eternal.

You said in Your Word to draw near to You and You will draw near to us.
You said call and You would answer and show us great and unsearchable things.
You said I would seek You and find You when I seek You with all of my heart.

I want to speak to You.
Not just like this.
Not even like during QTs.
I want to speak to You like Moses did.
I want Your Voice to be so real to me that I know it like a sheep knows its shepherd's, like Abraham recognised it was You even when You made such a seemingly needless, impossible and cruel request for Issac.

Surely it's possible.
Surely it's possible because past greats have known You in the same way.
Surely it's possible to hear God clear-er than this when You are the God who chose to draw near.
Surely it's possible.
When Your Word and Your deeds scream of a God who loves, a God who has given access to Himself and His throne, a God whose throne of mercy behind the tore veil I can approach.

See, Dad. I know and understand the practice of putting out fleeces and I know sometimes, You may say it's my call or You may simply want me to choose.
I know.
But I also know surely it is possible to hear Your direction and still Voice on my decisions, on all the crossroads that seem to come at once, on all of these in my life.
I still want You more in my life than all else.

I believe.

Word of God, speak.