02:40.

I talk to cats.

Mostly, it's just a "hey there", "hallo" or today to the orange tabby "hey babe" while mentally wondering if the cat might be meowing in soft objection at being called the moniker of a certain hog in a hollywood movie.

And about 200metres away from my hi-bye conversation with a cat, I saw what I presume was a headless squashed mynah on the road. I cringed, tensed up and retracted my steps down the path it was on, and walked down another pathway to cross the road and get to my company.

Yeah, I was at the office on Sunday. And on Sat too actually. Worked from about 1pm to 7pm on Sat and about 2.30 to 4.30pm on Sunday. Would be taking my Leave In Lieu today though so I am glad.

Besides talking to cats - and I wondered if the cat might had been the killer of that bird - I spend most of my days now at work.

Thankfully, work is interesting, and I have much to be thankful for. The working hours suit me fine, there are some great colleagues about, I get away with casual clothes with a cardigan/ blazer/ jacket thrown over to look less casual and warm me against the freezing air con.

Singapore is strange. So warm a tropical country - I woke up three days in a row with a headache from the exceptionally warm weather - and so cold at so many places. Who was it who first said that we are an air conditioned nation? She/ he is right indeed.

Last Thursday was my one-month "aniversary" at this job. I'm enjoying it, though the hiccups do come my way. And I miss zucchinis, asparagus and mushrooms.

Sometimes when I write, I come up with one-liners that strike me with their accurancy. No, I am not referring to the veggies related line but something I remember writing before - "Maybe at the end of the day, I fight change as much as I fight routine."

Maybe.

In that same vein, even as I settle down, I miss the place that is still also home in my heart. Even as I get used to and even quietly enjoy the familiarity of working girl life, I miss the student lifestyle of old.

In the same way, I am settling into church well, serving on music almost every week but I know inside of me, I am not convinced that this is my church home.

It feels like home, it really does. But in some cases, paradoxically so, no changes can be weary for the soul even as changes seemingly weighs down your spirit.

I enjoy wearing summer clothes all the time but long for the cool weather that is autumn in Melbourne. I love being with family but sometimes think about the independence and loneness. And honestly, I would like to do my laundry again. But just mine. Oops.

I miss seeing rainbows so often, glorious in their full arch and double rainbows appearances. I miss the crisp cool wind. I miss standing on my balcony just to feel that wind, and sometimes, some sun. And I miss looking out for visitors from my window.

It has been 80 days.

I remember the feeling of displacement that came when I uprooted to go to Melbourne. I remember the acute displacement that struck when I first came back here. I remember too how I felt like a stranger in a strange land for most of my life.

The feeling of home sometimes come geographically. Walking down a certain street feels like home. Certain people feel like home. Certain streets and people, you feel you belong to and with.
But feeling like the girl who fell to earth... that bit, I honestly have to say, is an appearance throughout my life's story thus far.

And I won't be surprised at all if I have to uproot again.

I don't know when or where.

When I went to Melbourne, I felt like I was sent. Missionary simply means Sent One, I had learnt, and I felt that way.

When I came back, again, I felt like I was sent here again. Not returning. But sent.

So what is home? People, and certain landscapes and weather that embraces.

Where am I supposed to be?

Am on a journey that teaches faith, trains and equips.

One day, I will be Home. But honestly, life is too long the living unless it has purpose.

But every moment's made for worshipping, every moment I am alive, we are alive, there can be more than this.

*hugggggggs*