19:44.

Wrestling God


In Genesis 32:24 to 29, Jacob's overnight wrestle with God was chronicled and we read that God blessed Jacob and named him Israel because he had "struggled with God and with men and have overcome".

The meaning of "Israel" is he struggles with God.
The meaning of "Jacob" is he grasps the heel, alluding to Jacob's reputation as a deceiver.

But prior to Jacob's meeting God, first... "that night, Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone..." (v. 22 to 24a).

He sent across his loved ones and possessions. He was alone.

Hold on, don't start reading into the story now. Let's go back a bit further to the events before Jacob even reached the shores of the ford and what awaits him across it.

In chapter 31, Jacob has just lied to his father-in-law Laban and took his two wives, many children and many many livestock and possessions and fled.

One wife, Rachel has even stolen her father's household gods, which gave Laban a pretext to pursue Jacob's camp.

Laban chased Jacob for seven days and caught up, confronted his son-in-law and asked him why he ran off instead of declaring his intentions to travel to his ancestor's land. And why did you steal my gods, Laban asked, and raided Jacob's camp to find them.

Rachel thwarted her own dad by hiding the idols, Jacob and Laban had a verbal showdown and Jacob finally told Laban flatly he had enough of the older man's attempts to rip him off over the years.

Things ended peacefully, Jacob even saw angels as he proceeded.

Still, I'd had found that confrontation emotionally draining and be probably pretty exasperated with the wife (it seems reasonable that Rachel would had told Jacob about it after Laban left) I love most for stealing, of all things, idols when the Lord has commanded us to go back to the land of my fathers.

But that wasn't the last of it.

Potential trouble continued in Chapter 32, as Jacob's convey to Esau (whose land lies after the ford of Jabbok) returned to say that Esau and 400 men were coming to meet them. Upon hearing this, Jacob was in "great fear and distress".

He spilt up his camp into a few groups and despatched them with gifts ahead of him, in hope of appeasing Esau, whose birthright Jacob stole many years ago. An Israelite's birthright is one of the most important things in the culture, and along with the birthright comes blessings. Jacob stole Esau's blessings and there is no hiding the obvious blessings in his life (wives, kids, many possessions). How was Esau to react when he sees Jacob and the many with him?

That was the situation before we reach Chapter 32: 22, earlier quoted, where Jacob sent across the last group to go before him - a camp made of his loved ones (2 wives, 11 sons, two maidservants who had borne him sons on behalf of their mistresses) and all his possessions.

Jacob was alone.

Alone at night, facing what could be a diastrous meeting in a few hours, about to face the exact person he had ran away decades ago (read Chapt27:43, Jacob first went to Laban's to flee Esau's murderous rage about his stolen birthright).

When we talk about wrestling with God, we often only mention the act and the blessings but see, Jacob was fighting for his blessing before he even wrestled that stranger in the night.

Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."(v. 28)

Before Jacob struggled with God, he had to be completely alone.

Before Jacob was alone, he struggled with men. Again and again, with Esau, with Laban, he struggled for decades.

"I will not let go until You bless me!"

Say that not only when you are wrestling with the Almighty Himself but see that even when you are fighting the world of men - the politicking, the disapproval, the accusations, the mundane threatening to drown purpose, see that amidst these, you are actually fighting too. Wrestling for your blessing.

The path to get your new name is not that fast and easy, not a one-step.

It doesn't happen in one night.

Wrestling with God is a solitary affair, without your loved ones' obvious support, away from the rest of your family. Often it is when you are in a place where you know you can't go backwards and yet feel the strain of continuing forward. Often, it is when you are in a spot where you are in between your recently emerged struggles and yet another coming battle.

When God comes down and wrestle with you, you will have already wrestled with men too. You may be barely holding on, but you will be surprised at the tenacity of your grip when you know desperation, the desperation that comes from knowing there is only One Way to get through everything now - When you get hold of Him.

But when you have fought, when you have held on and wrestled (holding on limply to someone is no wrestling), when you have undergone the trial of lone-ness, of battle with men, and held on tightly to the Almighty, you will receive your blessing.

You will receive your blessing.

And you will be forever changed, with a new name, even if you walk with a limp and gathered scars in the process.

Dad, I'm not letting go until You bless me.

I. Am. Not. Letting. Go.

So come on.