13:04.

Hallo goodbye.

When I quit my job, I had no idea what was next. Whether I was supposed to go Malaysia or stay in Singapore, whether I was supposed to just look for another job related to the industry or if the doors of full-time or even just Christian companies would open.

Step by step, God has shown me the way. Though the light was enough for only where my feet trod, He always shone more light as I walked on.

On Sunday, I will be taking a bus up to KL again. R a y will arrive on Sat so he can help me move my things up too. And it has been a while since he came and we miss him :)

But yes, come Sunday, I start a new phase of my life. A new chapter in the continuous calling upon life. A friend asked me yesterday if I think "calling" is for just a specific period, I told her I believe I was called before I was born and "calling" is a straight line throughout all my life which bring me from place to place and position to position at just the right time - If I obey. If I don't, I'd be haunted by feeling like my life is second-best even though God can still bless me and I can still serve Him.

But ok, back to the logistics of the moving of a life.

I'll be joining Worldteach fulltime and I still remain awed at the idea that God can just open the door to a full-time ministry just like that. And how sweet is Dad - He provided three doors so I could choose to walk through this door or not.

Well, I've made the choice and will commit to it for this season.

I'll be leaving on the 9th, giving myself a week to prayerfully and hopefully settle the accomodation or at least make good progress, then starting work at Worldteach on the 17th.

I still don't know what lies ahead but I think day-by-day and year-by-year these days. No grand 5-year plans. I know that it is at least for this year that Malaysia is my calling. Where we go from there, I don't know... yet.

But there's that feeling of life that is so awesome I'm stunned. Stunned by its quietness and dignity and enveloping realness. I know choosing the job with the lowest pay does not mean I will starve - That God will provide and God willing, I'd be able to freelance on editting and writting to supplement the (yes) pay in ringgit. That God will provide me with the best accomodation and even as I eye the unfamiliar path ahead, He will never ever let me go and will make my paths straight.

"Hold me/ Never let me go/ Change me/ I want the world to know/ You are living in me/ God I know/ You'll never let me go"

I don't want to ever be complacent and I know I need to be always challenged to give it up and move once it is discerned to be God's call. I don't believe that means I will never have a place to settle in for long, it just means I will go where He sends or I want to always do that.

You hear heaps of talk about the commitments of life. And me, I have only not too long ago learnt commitment in a deeper way. When I quit my job and talk about the conviction of God, I heard many older folks tell me it's good - 'cause they felt God called them too "last time when they were young" but they never did it.

I remember a story of some author/ pastor - How he was on the plane reading God's Generals and the old gent next to him asked what he was reading. He replied and used Smith Wigglesworth as an eg of who the book profiles. To his shock and horror, the old gent started crying. And later, confessed that he was a contemporary of Wigglesworth, except that when they were young and both received the call, Wigglesworth obeyed and he did not.

I don't know when I would get used, or ever would get used, to packing up a life and moving somewhere. But through the melancholy and surrealness, there's a rooted conviction that the required momentary adjustment nary brings down the gloriousness in the big scheme of things.

I got sentimental over the weekend in church thinking how I have been in the band for 10 years and now I'm moving on without knowing when next I might return to His Sanctuary as a member again. I reckon if God calls us back to Sg one day, His Sanctuary may not be where we get called back to. The band leader offered that I can play any time I come back if I want to which is nice to know but I would have to work out whether I may feel like that's somewhat tou li dai shui or bu san bu si what with my liking of neat finishes and starting, closure and such. I'd be drumming end of the month though when I come back with R a y for a hol (making use of Msia's only Mon public hol this year on May 1) 'cause she told me there are no other drummers who can take over.

And I'm spending much time with my lovely bed since I won't be using it much next time. Heh.

On Friday, I finally told my busy brother his only sister is moving next week. We get along well and I love him loads but we talk easier over random things like comics, shows, work and IT compared to serious stuff in life so he simply just listened. Before I told him, I was asking him why he had not borrowed more Marvel comics from the library and he said he was very tired and busy. Then I told him I was moving. And on Saturday, I returned home from band pract to a stack of Marvel, Foxtrot and Dilbert :) I love my bro, his name is John but not a So. (yes, I still check my Aussie news among other countries')

Today is my chill out day. It's really lovely how your home allows you to vegetate and enjoy a day of reading comics, papers, and surfing (online) without complaints or any thing. My folks are gorgeous, I know.

Will start on the packing soon.

Have a good Monday, folks.