1157.

I think God is trying to cheer me up the previous post's unfortunate incident.

I'm typing this at our living room's dining table. Hannah and Germ are both out at school. Me, I've got to start on neglected schoolwork today. Been up since 9am. Had breakfast, did QT and the laundry and here I am.

Back to the Divine providence and concern.

It's really a simple matter - I had a good weekend. Can't say I quite remember where Saturday went but I enjoyed my Fri, Sat and Sun quite so. Back home, the weekends are easily spent with good friends in town. Here, since I have to watch my budget and since I'm not surrounded by friends though surrounded by school work, I tend to spend weekends more or less in.

They are my favourite time of the week really.

So what was special about this weekend? Nothing quite actually but somehow, I feel... happy. I enjoyed last Friday's cell group and I could see how God helped me be cheerful and more extroverted. I was impressed by my cell leader's confession and apologies that she had not prepared the materials very well because she was spiritually down that week. And somehow, I suppose I feel more sense of familiarity with these folks whom are my family here in Melbourne.

Last Sunday, I went to church and the Mercy Ministry - which helps the refugees seeking asylum in Australia - was presenting. I felt an urge to join, knowing this is something really worthwhile.

And God help me, while I have completely, absolutely no idea of where I am going and what the future holds, knowing that the future always hold God and indeed, he holds my yesterdays, today, and tomorrows is not just assuring, but so very very much for me.

How long would my stay in Australia be? That popped through my mind while I sat in that service, looking at and hearing the Mercy Ministry's presentation.

The thing is, for me now, any thing can be. I've left the life I built up behind and from here, I know I can go any where, God willing and in His leading. I've reliquished control. I think all the plans I've made before have crumpled to a pile of dust. Is this brokenness? I don't quite know who I am and I do not know in detail what I want in my life except to truly live and honour God with my every work.

"Growing Young" by Rich Mullins has been going round in my head. That's somehow how I feel, that I am growing young, maybe just learning to be God's child again

Growing Young, Rich Mullins

I've gone so far from my home
I've seen the world and I have known
So many secrets
I wish now I did not know

'Cause they have crept into my heart
They have left it cold and dark
And bleeding
Bleeding and falling apart

And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry
Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie
That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
Well we are children no more we have sinned and grown old
And our Father still waits and He watches down the road
To see the crying boys come running back to His arms
And be growing young

Growing young

I've seen silver turn to dross
Seen the very best there ever was
And I'll tell you it ain't worth what it costs

And I remember my father's house
What I wouldn't give right now
Just to see him and hear him tell me that he loves me so much

And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry
Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie
That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
Well we are children no more we have sinned and grown old
And our Father still waits and He watches down the road
To see the crying boys come running back to His arms

And when I thought that I was all alone
It was your voice I heard calling me back home
And I wonder now Lord
What it was that made me wait so long
And what kept You waiting for me all that time
Was Your love stronger than my foolish pride
Will You take me back now take me back and let me be Your child

'Cause I've been broken now I've been saved
I've learned to cry and I've learned how to pray
And I'm learning I'm learning even I can be changed

And everybody used to tell me big boys don't cry
Well I've been around enough to know that that was the lie
That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
Well we are children no more we have sinned and grown old
And our Father still waits and He watches down the road
To see the crying boys come running back to His arms
And be growing young

Growing young

Growing young