16:25.

So yesterday, I had my first cell group in Overseas Christian Fellowship (OCF). This, at my fifth time joining their meetings. It has been three weeks since school officially started for me, two weeks for the folks who attend Melb Uni but it feels like finally, the beginning for my time with OCF is here.

That sounds cryptic, I know. I just simply mean to say I'm glad the cell groups are starting proper (I arrived in Melb at the end of their summer time programme which didn't include cell groups).

To be truthful, I have not made any friends in the Fellowship (ooh, sounds like LOTR) despite having attended for a while. Yes, I know faces and names and so do them me, and I have made chit chat and such. A more extrovert type would have gleaned more contact, conversation and perhaps in the process, friends. But it's not quite me to make the rounds, is it?

The thing is: despite the last paragraph, I feel fairly comfortable in the place. Yeah, I may feel slightly squirmy before everything starts proper during the period when everybody's chatting with everybody but then, I've always been like that.

When the worship starts, I am not aware of myself any more. Or merely aware on a different level. The band's smacking - I don't fancy "spanking" - good and since I have been here, I find myself almost desperate to touch God every praise and worship session.

The "format" of the Friday meetings are unusual to me. Everyone gathers at an old rented church for praise and worship, then we break up into different cell groups, after which we might or might not regather for any more important news, then as the various cells finish, people linger and mingle and some go for supper.

I went once to supper and liked the banter enough but have not ventured to another since I want to save money, I'm not a supper person, and supper's normally at places a couple of streets away and I live directly opposite the old church so yeah, I'm rather um, energy efficient.

Why am I glad about yesterday?

I need the symbolic actuality perhaps, for a new beginning to be articulated in form.

I still have my inhibitions, I do feel rather old still since the average age of the OCF-er in this group is about 20 or 21. The age thing, the way I feel inhibited because of it, baffles me since it's really about two years difference and I never quite have difficulty communicating with younger folks.

Maybe it's part of my emotional baggage from having ventured and returned from the working world?

Could it possibly be that I actually wear some sort of invisible battle dirt and grime and corporate scars on my person unknowingly?

Is this the same reason why I have fallen comfortably into the mode of school life but yet am not reaching out to people to know them, and indeed, I don't feel the urge to reach out and make contact with classmates?

I think I should just quit examining myself under my own telescope.

Let's change a ramble topic.

I'm glad too because after struggling with whether to make it known to the OCF band that I can play and would like to join them if they would have me, I did so yesterday through a little slip of paper which I indicate desire to serve in the area of music ministry - with a footnote, saying: "Drums, keyboards, guitar. I played in church but would need further coaching. You guys are too good" - and proofreading or writing for and with any publication.

I still haven't decided or found the church I want to settle down in but I really want to do more than what I'm doing now.

A month has already passed. I do want to give my best shot and squeeze every last ounce of life I could lead in the remaining nine months or so.

Whew.